Questions, Unquiet Mind

Again, this isn't a sermon. It's simply a rambling because my mind is anything but quiet at the moment, and I need to attempt to calm it... 

I spent a good part of today catching up on reading from the “Christ in our Home” booklet. I’m not good at reading from this daily, but do like to eventually take it all in. It used to be that I would just read these devotions and move on. I’m finding recently, however, that the more I read, the more questions I have. And these questions aren’t necessarily related to the reading, although they are brought on by the reading – or by another question from the reading. Perhaps it’s because I read seven days worth today, but I found myself having a lot more questions than I usually do.

Two main questions seem to be sticking with me; and as much as I am trying to find the answers, there seems to be very differing answers on the one question. And the second question, there doesn’t seem to be any real answer.

First: in 1 John 5:16, depending on which version of the Bible you read, it mentions fatal sin, or sin that brings death. Basically, it appears to be talking about a sin that is so bad, it will bring death of some sort to the transgressor. But what sin is considered a fatal sin?

Second, in 1 Corinthians 12:1-11, spiritual gifts are discussed. In my opinion, these gifts sound as if some of them could be considered “psychic” abilities… unnatural abilities which I have been taught do not truly exist. This opened up a myriad of questions and theories I have held for quite some time now. Perhaps I will write on this later.

Then, tonight, after exhausting my search for answers to these questions, I went back to an email I had received recently which referred me to the Sermon on the Mount. So, as I hadn’t yet read these chapters in Matthew (well, I have read them – just not in quite some time, and never truly paid attention to what I was reading), I jumped online to the Bible (yes, I read my Bible online… every version at the tips of my fingers) and read Matthew 5-7.

And I found my mind going every which way on possible topics to write about and what to say and what to believe. How should these chapters be read and interpreted? Am I applying these lessons to my life? How can I better apply them?

My mind is so busy, I am finding it difficult to relax my thoughts and meditate on what I’ve read – or even not think at all. And thus I have turned to this blog for now. Perhaps in getting these questions and thoughts and pent up intellectual and spiritual energy onto this screen, my mind will quiet for at least a few moments.

This is important to all of us – a chance to quiet our minds from all the daily tasks and thoughts which spin around constantly. We need to find time each day to meditate on the events of the day – to reflect on lessons learned, and events which have happened. We need to find time to pray – to thank the Lord for all the beauty of the day; to reflect on what we’ve done against God and pray for forgiveness; to consider those in need and pray for them. We need to make time to read scripture, and reflect on it. We need to make time to simply reflect on life – on the beauty and joy within this life. Even during difficult times, or perhaps especially during difficult times, we need to allow ourselves to see this beauty and be grateful for it.

And now, I shall take my own advice and attempt to meditate – or, given the late hour, fall asleep….