About 18 months or so ago, I started a novel. I knew without a doubt what the title of this novel would be. But, I was battling with myself as to what the content should be. I had somewhat of an idea... but something just wasn't sounding right. It wasn't fitting together right.
This disturbed me a little - while I often get writer's block halfway through a novel, this wasn't writer's block. This was something inside me saying the novel wasn't going in the right direction. To be honest, I was a bit disappointed. What I had planned out was going to be a heart-wrenching tale. But, the heart-wrenching tale I had tried to plan out, was not the tale this novel was supposed to be.
Around 12 months ago or so, I realized God wanted me for some purpose. He was calling on me. He sent me someone to help me find my way to God... someone to pave the road. But for what? What did God want me for? What does He want me for?
For the past year (or more) this novel has ran circles through my mind. The original plan I had - this novel was going to be multiple personalities. Multiple voices. If you know me... you know this is how I had always been. I had multiple voices/personalities screaming within my brain. And yet, with the help of God's servant (and God), the voices disappeared. How can I write something with multiple personalities/voices, if I've lost them all?
God makes no sense. WHY have a title swim around in someone's brain?... WHY have that title be about multiple personalities and in multiple voices?... WHY lead me towards God, and let me know without a doubt that I am needed.... but not tell me how?
Recently, in addition to all this confusion regarding where God wants me, I have been engaged in a heartfelt, and intensely difficult, email discussion regarding abuse. This has gone on for quite some time now.
And tonight, it hit me like a brick.
God's been telling me the whole time what He wants me for. I've just been too preoccupied (or stupid) to notice. I feel an intense relief... but at the same time, a bit uncertain....
The novel I was going to write - isn't necessarily a novel (although, the Title holds true). The multiple personalities/voices? Not all mine. A collection.
I am asking anyone who has ever been abused - as a child or adult... physical, sexual or emotional abuse - would you be willing to write for a blog of short, true stories? Names, places, dates, etc can be changed to protect those involved. And, I'm really looking for the religious struggles as well. I want the brutal truth of what you've gone through in regards to abuse... and the brutal truth of the struggle with God (or, lack of struggle, if that's the case) during these hard times. Anonymity will be at the discretion of the writer (in other words, if you don't want people to know it's your story, no one will ever know).
Why?
Because God has called on me, and you, for this. The more our stories get out there, the more chance we have of helping people in similar situations. The more chance we have of helping the abused find and/or hold on to the Lord. Will you help?
Comment here... or on Google +.... or via email (brandi.eissinger@gmail.com) if you are willing to help, or have questions.
God bless,
Brandi
Thanks Marsha! I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteGod bless,
Brandi