Would You Still Be You?

Ever have one of those annoying friends who always has a tendency to make you think? Well... I do. And, he did this to me again last night. I'd been telling him he needs to wave a magic wand and make my depression go away. His response was that if he had such a magic wand, he'd consider removing my depression... but then asked "though if I did, would you still be you?"

We are the sum of our experiences

I've said for many years now that if I could go back in time and change the way I grew up (no abuse, no abandonment, no rape, etc), I wouldn't do it. Even if I could go back in time and not leave home the way I did (which is one of few regrets I have, and only because I feel this added to my siblings' pain and suffering), I still wouldn't.

Who we become is made up of all these experiences. True, they weren't healthy experiences. And true, they caused some deeply rooted issues within me... issues that I sometimes wish I didn't have... but they are still a part of me. They are me. This isn't a case of living in the past by any means, but rather a simple fact that these events and experiences and traumas shaped me... shaped the core of who I am, how I feel and act, and what I do and dream.

These experiences include our "issues"

Whether we suffer depression, or some other personality, psychological or mood disorder, we are still shaped by these. No, they do not define us, but they do have a huge impact on who we are, who we were, and who we're becoming.

Now, in thinking about this question my friend posed - "Would you still be you" - I recognize that I've known the answer for many years. When I was 18, I was placed on anti-depressants. Yes, they did work. They took away my depression. But I wasn't me. My ability to write disappeared. My ability to understand and/or care about the issues of others was diminished. So much of who God had made me to be was masked. It's why I threw out the medication. And it's part of why I can honestly answer that question with a resounding "No!" I would not be me. And, well, no one else wants to be me, so I guess I'll have to keep that job for myself.

Bring on the depression! :)

Embrace who you are

God has made each of us, and continually molds us through the experiences we face - both the good, and especially the bad. Embrace these trials and problems and experiences. And pray that God continues to use our experiences to help us grow emotionally and spiritually.

God bless!


NOTE: Please understand, I am in no way knocking those who are on medication for depression (or any other issue). Some people truly needs these meds... and to be honest, I probably should be on them as well for my own sanity, and the sanity of those who put up with me. It's simply a personal choice of mine to not be on them. Sorry to anyone I upset.

Who Cares About Personal Experiences?

We've all heard the statement that Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship. I believe this.

Religion is a set of doctrines. It's a set of rules and regulations. It's cold. It's heartless. It's sticking your nose in a book (most likely the Bible... and commentaries.... and dictionaries...).

A relationship, on the other hand, is about true experiences. It's passion. It's a desire to strengthen and stay connected. It's all heart. It's sometimes sticking your nose in a book, but letting yourself feel the experiences so many authors within the Bible write about.

There is just as much to learn in a personal story than in a scholarly essay!

 

Personal experiences reach people. They often make someone stop and say "Hey! I understand what you're feeling. I've been there. I'm glad I'm not alone."

But these experiences aren't important enough to scholars. They aren't worthy of sharing. They don't "teach" anything.

Or do they?

Look at the Bible: the life journeys of Moses, David, Job, etc. Or, the book of John - a telling of John's personal experience following Christ. Many of the books in the Bible tell of the personal experiences of different people. These books aren't of people breaking down the languages used and what is meant by this or that. They aren't scholarly. They're about ordinary people experiencing God in their lives. Some are filled with lament. Some with joy.

If the entire Bible read as a text book, who would want to read it? Who would truly learn anything from it?

Most of what I write is simply personal experiences. I'm not talking the "my life was horrible, but then I found Jesus!" type of writing. I'm talking about the day to day struggles. I'm talking about the times when I've cursed at God for being cruel; and the times I've fallen to my knees begging for help; and the times I've looked up to heaven and praised Him for being such a wonderful Father. I'm talking about the struggles and joys and frustrations and love I've found while trying to follow Christ.

I'm talking about the things everyone goes through in life

 

I have been incredibly touched and brought closer to God by many of the articles I have read which were personal experiences. I have learned more of God's love through these articles. I have had my faith increased by the mere sight of others' faith. I have gained a greater understanding of why God allows things to happen, and the fact that He is always by my side, by hearing these incredible personal experience stories.

Yes, there is a time and place for scholarly articles. I enjoy reading those as well. Knowledge is important, and can actually strengthen one's faith. I would never consider dismissing these articles as unnecessary or unimportant.

But in the same manner, we cannot discount personal experience. This is what Christianity is based on. It's a personal experience with God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Without personal experience, all you're left with is a lot of knowledge that means nothing.

If you were struggling with belief in God... or didn't believe at all... And all you find on the topic are scholarly articles about the Bible, or about what is needed to be a true Christian, but never read or heard people's real life experiences with being a Christian... would you want to follow God?