Duct Tape the Kids - Mom Needs Church

Disclaimer: this post does not mean to ignore the Church needs of fathers; nor is it intended to insinuate that the issues addressed in this post don't apply to fathers as well. But, as I am not a father, nor will I ever be one, I can only write this from the perspective that I do know and understand. 

I'm a mother. And as a mother, I can say with fair certainty that we all get the same way from time to time - completely and utterly drained. I'm not just talking about being physically drained. I'm also talking about emotionally and mentally wiped. And yes - definitely even spiritually spent.

Some churches don't want a nursery during service time. They feel it is important that even very young children attend service. It doesn't matter if the mother can't pay attention to the service - it is her responsibility to make sure the child grows up in the church. She may attend service every Sunday, and not actually get a chance to hear the sermon, or sing more than two lines of a hymn, or even say the entire Lord's Prayer, until that child is 3 or 4 years old - but that's ok... as long as she has that child in attendance.

Moms Need Church!

This belief that the mother should be willing to sacrifice her worship time every week for 3 or 4 years (or more) is so wrong! MOMS NEED CHURCH! They need uninterrupted service and the ability to have their undivided attention on the Pastor, the message, the singing, the fellowship, the prayers. They need to refill their spiritual banks!

A spiritually dry mother does nothing to help raise a child strong in faith. A spiritually dry mother often finds herself dreading those Sunday services - an attitude the child will learn to recognize. A spiritually dry mother finds herself slipping further from God, and thus teaching her child less about God, and acting less in the way a Christian should try to behave. A spiritually dry mother trying to teach her children about Christ is simply not possible. It's like expecting a coma patient to do brain surgery on another patient.

Moms sacrifice a lot for their kids - their time, energy, money, and the list goes on. And yes, there is nothing wrong with a mother sacrificing her worship time sometimes to ensure her child grows up going to Church services. But mothers cannot and should not be expected to sacrifice her spirituality for this or it will all go wrong.

I cannot stress this enough - Mothers need a chance to reboot their spiritual energy. And they need a fairly regular opportunity for this. Here are several ways the Church community can help with this...

- Offer a (volunteer) staffed nursery at least once a month.
- Offer babysitting in the homes of mothers so they only have to worry about getting themselves to services.
- Never make a mother feel guilty or ashamed when she does have her young one in the nursery, or leaves the little one at home.

Let's all please help support the spiritual health of mothers in our Church!

All Tapped Out - A Danger to Our Ministry (or, at least, not very good for it)

A lot of people think "Oh yay! Summer time!"... until they're about halfway through it, when they realize they have overextended themselves. Of course, this isn't always reserved for summertime. Some people have a habit of overextending themselves no matter what time of year it is.

In our zealous desire to say "yes" to those we care about... or, to anyone for that matter... we find ourselves more and more saying "no" to our own needs. I'd give my own personal list of tasks I've put upon myself, or had put upon me, the past couple months - but that would be much too long of a list. But, it has been enough that it has kept me busy from early morning until early morning, cutting into every aspect of my life.

The result of all of this?

I have failed to spend very much quality time with my children. I have probably only seen my husband a total of an hour a day, and I'm usually busy doing something else at the time. I haven't been a very good friend to those who have needed my friendship. My blog - it's been a chore to write even once a week, if I've even succeeded at that. I've been cranky with those who care about me. I haven't taken time for prayer. I have not been a good friend, neighbor, mother, wife, employee, Christian, etc. I just haven't the time or energy to be a "good" anything.

I stumbled on this article a week ago: 9 Results of Being an Exhausted Leader

This list  is true regardless of what role we play in life. And, speaking just from a ministry point of view - these results can be harmful. I'm sure many of my pastor friends will understand (and probably have seen most of these in themselves at one point or another).

This list leads to people dropping out of ministry, or at best, making themselves very poor ministers. It's not easy to teach God's Word when we're exhausted and don't want to even be around people. It's not easy to spread a message of God's Love and Grace, when we just want to criticize people, or when we don't believe we're worthy of spreading that message. We don't want to immerse ourselves in prayer when we just want to hide from even God.

When we find ourselves getting to this point we need to...

STOP!
Drop things that aren't important.
Take some much needed "me-time."
DO immerse yourself in prayer.
DO immerse yourself in an activity you truly enjoy - one that does not exhaust, but rather rejuvenates
Remember you are one of God's beloved children, and bask in that joy and relief for a few minutes
Be honest with those around you. No one expects you to be perfect... but if they don't know you're exhausted, they're going to keep coming.
Remember that what you do is appreciated - even if people aren't very good at showing that appreciation. 
Sleep. 

That's just what I can think of off the top of my head. If anyone has any additional "how to keep from becoming exhausted with ministry (or life in general)" ideas, I'd love to hear them!

God bless!