Size Doesn't Matter

I've heard many people say "I'm too young" or "I don't know enough" when it comes to teaching people about God. I've heard many say "I don't have the resources." Or "I'm not a pastor."

The thing is, however, teaching about God doesn't require you being within a certain age range, education range, or income range. Nor does it require a special title attached to your name, or collar around your neck. Now... before people hang me for heresy, please understand that in no way am I negating the importance of Church, or of having educated ministers teaching us. I am simply attempting to point out that each one of us can also teach about Christ.

The most important lesson within the Bible is that God loves us; and, the greatest commandment we're given by Jesus, is that we love one another as He has loved us. Most children even know this - or, at least know some form of this (i.e. "treat others as you would want to be treated"... which yes, isn't quite the same, but hopefully you understand what I'm getting at).

Teachers of God's Love

Recently, I saw two different stories on Facebook which made me look back on my own life, and the people who made big impacts on showing me God's love. Most of these people were either young, or poor, or lacked a professional biblical education (or had no education when it came to Christianity/the Bible). And yet those in my personal life were instrumental in helping me grow spiritually; just as those in the stories I've read/watched were instrumental in helping teach others about love.

Take, for instance, the 9 year old who planted a garden to help those without food, and built a shelter for a homeless man. Or what about a group of 5th grade boys who recognized injustice and bullying happening to a fellow classmate, and befriended him? These young children didn't hesitate to reach out to those they saw in need. They reached out in love, changing the lives of two people, and probably also changing the lives of their families and communities who witnessed these selfless acts.

For me, there was a young boy (my brother) who always showed that love - to me, and to others. He always reached out in love. He always tried to help when he could, however you could. Even though he was six years younger than me, I learned more from him about love than I did from my own parents, educators, ministers, etc.

There was also a family I grew close to when I was a teenager - a woman, three of her children, and her granddaughter, living in a small trailer. They did not have a lot of money/resources, but always had their door open for "strays". These "strays" were young adults who had no home, teenagers estranged from their family, people who just needed a roof over their head. This family not only provided the roof and other basic necessities, they provided love. They provided friendship. They sat up all hours of the night being a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear - providing love, hope, comfort, peace - things money can not buy.

Even today, I'm close to a few people who have little monetarily - but have huge hearts. They're always willing to lend a hand, or a shoulder, no matter what it is or when it is. They've reminded me that it isn't about what you own, or how you dress, or how many children you have, or what your 'status' in the community is - we're all loved and accepted by God. And they taught this simply by being that example - by being loving and accepting.

Requirements for Teaching God's Love

So the next time you feel you're not equipped to teach about God - take a moment to think about those in your life who taught you the invaluable lesson of God's love. Were all these people old? Rich? Well educated? Pastors? Some, perhaps, but I'm going to guess that not all of them were. God uses everyone - big and small, old and young, rich and poor, educated and uneducated - to teach His love... we just need to be willing to reach out with that love towards others.

That is the only requirement for teaching - a willingness to love.

God bless.

Child of God

Maybe it's because I didn't have good parents. Maybe it's because I didn't have the comfort, love, and security we associate with parents when I was growing up. Maybe it's simply my own emotional immaturity.

Whatever the reason, when we were asked at Bible Study the other night to read Ephesians 1:3-14, and share which verse(s) spoke the most to us about our identity in Christ, I had no hesitation in selecting verse 5:

He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will (Ephesians 1:5)

All over social media (especially Facebook), I see memes posted: "share if you had a wonderful father"... "share if your mom was always there for you"... "share if you had hardworking parents". I used to get a little jealous because I couldn't reshare those images. That wasn't my childhood. And today? I don't even speak to my parents (more their choice than mine).

As humans, we generally equate parents with the people who provide for our needs - physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. They provide us a roof over our heads, and food and clothing (these things my parents did do). But, parents generally also provide a safe place to go to when we're sad, or hurt, or angry. They offer us comfort. They celebrate our accomplishments. They teach us and love us. They kiss our skinned knees, and embrace us when we're crying.

I didn't have that. This simple fact alone is what kept me from God for many years. God is our father (and mother)... and my only examples of what a father or mother portraits was not so great. But now, I realize that God is not our earthly parents. All those things we equate with parents, God provides. He provides our basic necessities. He is there to embrace us when we're hurt and scared and angry. He is there to guide us and He loves us unconditionally.

We are children of God. We have been adopted by Him, through Jesus Christ. And this, above all else, provides me with comfort and peace. I am a beloved child of God.

Duct Tape the Kids - Mom Needs Church

Disclaimer: this post does not mean to ignore the Church needs of fathers; nor is it intended to insinuate that the issues addressed in this post don't apply to fathers as well. But, as I am not a father, nor will I ever be one, I can only write this from the perspective that I do know and understand. 

I'm a mother. And as a mother, I can say with fair certainty that we all get the same way from time to time - completely and utterly drained. I'm not just talking about being physically drained. I'm also talking about emotionally and mentally wiped. And yes - definitely even spiritually spent.

Some churches don't want a nursery during service time. They feel it is important that even very young children attend service. It doesn't matter if the mother can't pay attention to the service - it is her responsibility to make sure the child grows up in the church. She may attend service every Sunday, and not actually get a chance to hear the sermon, or sing more than two lines of a hymn, or even say the entire Lord's Prayer, until that child is 3 or 4 years old - but that's ok... as long as she has that child in attendance.

Moms Need Church!

This belief that the mother should be willing to sacrifice her worship time every week for 3 or 4 years (or more) is so wrong! MOMS NEED CHURCH! They need uninterrupted service and the ability to have their undivided attention on the Pastor, the message, the singing, the fellowship, the prayers. They need to refill their spiritual banks!

A spiritually dry mother does nothing to help raise a child strong in faith. A spiritually dry mother often finds herself dreading those Sunday services - an attitude the child will learn to recognize. A spiritually dry mother finds herself slipping further from God, and thus teaching her child less about God, and acting less in the way a Christian should try to behave. A spiritually dry mother trying to teach her children about Christ is simply not possible. It's like expecting a coma patient to do brain surgery on another patient.

Moms sacrifice a lot for their kids - their time, energy, money, and the list goes on. And yes, there is nothing wrong with a mother sacrificing her worship time sometimes to ensure her child grows up going to Church services. But mothers cannot and should not be expected to sacrifice her spirituality for this or it will all go wrong.

I cannot stress this enough - Mothers need a chance to reboot their spiritual energy. And they need a fairly regular opportunity for this. Here are several ways the Church community can help with this...

- Offer a (volunteer) staffed nursery at least once a month.
- Offer babysitting in the homes of mothers so they only have to worry about getting themselves to services.
- Never make a mother feel guilty or ashamed when she does have her young one in the nursery, or leaves the little one at home.

Let's all please help support the spiritual health of mothers in our Church!

Things That Make Me Go 'What The...'?

 Have you ever watched the news, or read an article, or been involved in a conversation that just makes you stop and say "what the heck!?!"

This happens quite often to me, although I generally just ignore them and move along. But, I figured this time, I would share a few things that made me go "huh?"...

1) Biracial Baby to Lesbian White Parents: 

We still live in a society where homosexuality is not the norm (in fact, it is still considered a sin by many Christians, and just taboo or wrong by many non-Christians). However, apparently, it is equally horrible to be of a different race. It seems, a Caucasian lesbian white couple wanted a child. They picked out the sperm donor - a good looking, successful white male (or, so the profile at the sperm bank stated), and one proceeded to get pregnant and have the baby.

The baby which arrived was bi-racial (apparently, the person read the profile number wrong and sent out the wrong vial). So, this intelligent white lesbian couple decided to sue. They were not happy they didn't get what they had ordered. But the main reason they gave for why they're angry and suing for so much money? The child will grow up picked on for being biracial, and because the parents don't know how to take care of her hair.

Seriously??

2) Give Him Sex Whenever He wants It!

So, I'm sure many of you have heard of the Duggars - 19 and counting (very large family). Anyway, this family has some very strong Christian values. And, some that just make me go... ummm... huh?

When one of their daughters is allowed to start dating, the father is the one who selects a potential partner. There is, understandably, no sex until marriage. However, there is also no kissing, no hand-holding, and all dates are chaperoned. Ok, I get it - trying to minimize temptation. Sex is something for within the confines of marriage, and holding hands can get hot and heavy pretty quickly.

But... within the confines of marriage... the Duggar girls are taught that whenever their husband is in the mood, it doesn't matter how she feels. She is to give it up. There are no headaches. No excuses.

Yeah... sorry... I've written on this one before and well, while I recognize the importance of sex in a marriage, and I know the scripture on your body belongs to him, his to you (I'd look it up and quote it accurately, but I like giving my readers something to do - or something to complain about). But if a woman (or man) is not in the mood for sex, then no. You cannot have loving, intimate, physical relations if one of you is not feeling well, or just not in the mood, or is too tired. 

3) "Burn the Gays!" says the divorced mother sleeping with her ex-husband's coworker and his best friend.

Ok, so I didn't exactly hear or read that specifically. However, I have read repeatedly article after article condemning homosexuals. The reasons cited - it is Biblically wrong! It's an abomination! It is living in sin, and continuing to live in sin.

And yet, these same people who yell the loudest about how wrong it is, ignore divorce being wrong... ignore that premarital sex is wrong. Many of them continue to live in their own sins. We are told by Jesus that whoever divorces and remarries, is committing adultery. So almost every re-married person (or divorced but sleeping with someone else) is continuing to live in sin. I'd almost say what they are doing is actually worse (although, a good friend told me there are no better or worse sins...) than being homosexual considering Jesus himself spoke of this topic.

Seriously, before you begin screaming about the immorality and sinfulness of another, take a good long look in the mirror. Please.

 

Amen!

God bless you all!

Why We Should Never Say "It's Just Kids Being Kids"

Every now and then, I hear something or see something that quite simply makes me very sad...

Bullying 

Bullying is one of those things we're always hearing about. Children get bullied at school. They're bullied online. They're bullied at the playground, or on the bus. Even adults find themselves in situations of being bullied. They're bullied at work. They're bullied by a spouse at home.

What is bullying, exactly? 

It isn't just physical harm - although, it can definitely take this form. It's also verbal. It's calling another person names on a regular basis. It's excluding another person. It's making a person feel unworthy. It's intentionally hurting another person's feelings.

What is it not? 

It is not simply kids being kids. This was the thing I heard the other day that simply made me very sad.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't stop kids from doing what kids do."

This was said by a youth group leader, in regards to bullying happening by youth group members, but not during youth group events.

What is a Christian youth group? 

I've seen youth groups that are more Bible study groups. I've seen some which are basically just good-time groups. I've seen some very focused on service to others. I think there is value in each of these kinds of groups. I think it would be even more beneficial for kids to have some combination of all of this.

But regardless of the type of group it is, a Christian youth group should be a place where children feel safe. They shouldn't fear voicing their faith. They shouldn't fear sharing their opinions. They shouldn't fear sharing their troubles and fears. And they most definitely shouldn't fear being excluded or bullied by fellow members - within or outside the walls of the group.

And as leaders of these youth - whether as official youth group leaders, or just as parents of teenagers - we should not be dismissive of bullying behavior. And we should be focusing on making sure our children have a group of peers they can turn to for sharing their faith, hopes, pains and fears.

Are We Failing Our Kids? 

Many teens/young adults today are lost. They don't know where to turn when life gets ugly. They don't have that safety net - and part of this is because we are failing as parents and leaders.

We are so concerned with our children being socially accepted, that we don't prepare them for what happens when they aren't socially accepted; and we don't teach them what to do when someone else isn't socially accepted. We don't try to provide them with strong values. A good Christian upbringing doesn't just mean dragging our children to Church and Sunday School and Confirmation classes. It should be about teaching them to always reach out to those in need. It should be about teaching them to reach out to the marginalized... to always include people... to always be kind and show love, regardless of where you are.

Instead, once they're not in our home or our Church, we rid ourselves of the responsibility. We dismiss the concept that perhaps these children are being bullied. Or that they are the bullies. We just write it off as "kids being kids." We don't realize until it's too late that one of these children is suicidal, or depressed, or cutting him/herself, or starving him/herself, or doing drugs or drinking. We don't realize until it's too late that we have failed to provide a safety net for these children.We don't realize until it's too late that some of these children are causing harm to others, and that we haven't taught them how to be a safety net for each other.

Please Pray for the Bullied and the Bullies (and all the rest of the children...)

Our children are in serious need of prayer. Pray the bullied are able to find strength, and find a safety net of peers whom are accepting. Pray the bullies find the love and acceptance they strive so hard to find and keep. Pray for parents and leaders to stop dismissing bullying as just kids being kids. Pray we find the strength and wisdom to reach out to these children in love, and show them how to be a net for one another. Pray all these children find some peace.

God bless

Beloved Child?

She was only four years old when her father's friend asked her to come watch cartoons with him. She hesitated. She didn't want to. She knew what he really wanted. But, her father had always taught her to obey her elders. She closed her eyes, escaping to that perfect world within in her mind, blocking out the touch of his hands, and what he was forcing her to do.

She was only eight years old the first time her step mother got truly angry with her. She hadn't washed her hands as thoroughly as the mother had wanted. The little girl stood there against the wall as the mother grabbed her hair and slammed her head into the wall.

She was only 10 years old the day her father caved to the wishes of mother. Mother had gotten angry, believing the girl was hiding something...that she had a secret. She backhanded the girl across the face. Then did it again. She grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, slamming her into the wall, then tossing her to the floor like a rag doll. Mother's foot connected with her ribs, her legs. Father stepped in at that point... tried to stop the woman. "Fine. She's your daughter. You deal with her." is all she said. Father hesitated, then proceeded to kick the child.

She was only 12 years old when her mother made sure she understood that the only way she'd survive in the world was to  have sex with men... she had nothing else going for her. No brains. No looks. No personality. No talent.

There were many more incidents. At least four years of sexual abuse at the hands of a trusted family friend. Ten years of severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her parents.

Where was God?

For years, I asked this question. My parents made me go to church every Sunday. I went to Sunday School as a child, then 3 years of pre-confirmation and 3 years of confirmation classes. I taught Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. I helped old ladies clean their houses and plant their gardens. And how was I rewarded for my service? With scars and bruises - the worst of which could not be seen.

After the horrible school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, I asked the question - why does God allow this stuff to happen? Where is he in all this? And I received a relatively decent answer.... God doesn't do these acts. Shootings and other tragedies in life are the work of Satan/man. But, I was told that God was there holding the lifeless bodies of the lost children, and holding close the family and friends of the lost. This is all well and good.

It's also good to know that for the several years of abuse, God was there with me. Every punch and kick. Every time I was drug down the stairs by my hair. Every time I was molested and raped. God was there.

And God did nothing.

A few months ago, I was told I am a beloved child of God. How can I be a beloved child and yet he still allows this abuse to happen? How can he claim to be a loving Father if he allows this abuse to happen? How can any parent claim to be a loving parent if they allow this? If my children were being abused, would I not step in to stop it? Would I not do whatever was needed to end their suffering?

But, God didn't.

This was part of what drew me away from God for many years. I couldn't believe He existed, because if he WAS real, he wouldn't have made me suffer so much. Now, I do believe. And I do love and praise Him. No, I don't have the answers of why he would allow these horrific acts. But I do know he was there beside me throughout the pain and suffering.

And, most days, I do believe I'm a beloved child of God. Tonight is just not one of those times.

Lost Child?

Luke 2:49 He said to them, "Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?"

It was either Thanksgiving or Easter, although I can't recall for certain which, about 8 years ago. We were celebrating the holiday as we usually did at my in-laws. We lived only a block from their home. We still do... just in a different house now. Being so close to them makes holidays very easy for us. If my husband is ill, or if the kids, when they were younger, needed naps, we could just run home for a bit.

This is what happened that day. My husband was feeling sick so he had gone home. My youngest, only a year and a half old or so at the time, was in dire need of a nap. So, I brought him home to his dad. After making sure the two of them were settled in, I went back to the festivities. After a couple hours, I decided to go back home to check on them. My husband was sound asleep on the couch. And my son... was missing.

I ran through the house, calling his name, checking in every room, under every bed. If you've ever lost a child, you know the panic that goes through your entire soul. I woke up my husband frantically, then continued on in my search. I finally noticed our back door was slightly open. My heart stopped. My baby had gotten outside. Granted, this is a small town, if anyone had found him they would know who he belonged to. But at that heart-stopping moment, I didn't think of this. Every horrible possibility went through my mind in the blink of an eye.

Finally I saw the flash of gray camouflage - the t-shirt he'd been wearing - in a yard a couple houses away. I screamed his name, running towards him as he stopped and put his arms out to me. I was relieved, and furious, and everything else imaginable. He started crying as I wrapped him in my arms, my own tears falling as I scolded him for leaving the house.

In his broken speech, he let me know that he'd  been trying to go back to Grandma's... he'd been trying to find me.

In Luke 2:41-49, we find Jesus' parents in a similar situation. Jesus had gone missing. Of course, he was 12, not under 2, but the feeling his parents went through, I'm certain was no different than those I experienced. After searching for him, they finally found him in a temple. His mother scolded him... "Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety."

His response to her was  "Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?"

There is such an innocence that can be found in that response... a simple logic that can only come from a child. In both my own experience, and in this scripture, the children couldn't understand the parents' reaction - after all, in my son's case - he was trying to find his mom; and in Jesus' case - he went to his Father's house.

Of course, in those days, a 12 year old boy was almost a man. He was maturing, and understanding more of what was expected of him. And in Jesus' case, he was beginning to understand his purpose. He understood that while Joseph was his earthly father, God was his father. And to learn what it was he was doing - that he was sitting with teachers, learning and asking questions - this shows a wisdom I don't think any of us would ever expect or see in our own 12 year old children.

You see two parents who are quite normal - even to the point of freaking out when their child goes missing. But then you see a 12 year old Jesus who is showing he is not normal. Or at least, not normal in the eyes of his parents and the temple teachers.

-------------------------------------

If you think about this story metaphorically...(or perhaps as it's intended... what do I know)...

As parents, we see our children's paths a certain way. We believe they will follow us, or at least follow where we want them to go. However, as most parents have come to find, this is often not the case. Children have their own path. They find their own path home. But, like most of us, this path to their own true home is what they're seeking, and the road they're taking. We can either nurture that, or fight it... but, I've come to learn that fighting it doesn't work all that well.

The 11th Commandment

In the car, on the way Christmas shopping tonight, I heard a Collin Raye song that lifted my spirits a little... gave me a little inspiration. I was going to come home and write about this. But, when I got home, I couldn't recall the name of the song. So, I Googled Collin Raye discography, and went to his site, and saw the name of one of his songs that I don't recall ever hearing before. So, I looked it up on YouTube. This song definitely is not the uplifting one.... but it is one which deserves to be heard and shared.

There will be no uplifting sermon right now. There will be no sermon at all. Instead, I ask you all to
1) Follow this link to Collin Raye's song "The Eleventh Commandment"
2) If you wish, follow along with the lyrics (posted below)
3) And most importantly... say a prayer for all the children in situations such as these (and, maybe throw in a prayer for the adult survivors of situations such as these... we can use the prayers too)

"The Eleventh Commandment"

Collin Raye

She hears his heavy breathing in the dark
His footsteps coming closer down the hall
She's so ashamed, she's daddy's secret love
She wants to cry, she wants to die, but he can't get enough
The bruises on his face will go away
Mom keeps him home from school till they fade
She's sorry he was born and tells him so
He takes it in, he hangs his chin, he ducks another blow

Did God overlook it
What ought have been written
The eleventh commandment
Honor thy children

He cries for hours, cries and never stops
He shakes so hard his little cradle rocks
He'll never have the chance to be brand new
He'll never walk, he'll never talk, he's addicted too

Did God overlook it
What ought have been written
The eleventh commandment
Honor thy children

Thou shalt not kill
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain
Thou shalt not cause thy children pain

God does not overlook it
What ought have been written
The eleventh commandment
Honor thy children
Honor thy children