I do not know if the monster which has been stalking and attacking me the past few weeks has finally moved on, or if he is hiding behind the trees, waiting to attack yet again.
Fear grabs hold as I realize I cannot see if God is here with me. I cannot feel His presence, though I try to trust that He walks beside me.
Uncertainty of what lies ahead slows my steps, my heart quickening, my breath shaky. Where does this pathway lead? Am I even on the right one, or have I somehow wandered off the path, to be lost and wandering forever?
Tears threaten to slip from my eyes, to mingle with the fog. I am lost. Unable to find the path, or my Lord, or myself. Frustrated in the knowledge that I have no knowledge of if or when this fog will lift, giving me back some clarity.
What if it never lifts? What if this is what it will be like for the rest of my days? Waiting on that monster, constantly uncertain if there is light somewhere, forever unsure if I am not alone, always frightened.
Please Lord, help me to trust in Your presence, and that you will see me safely through this fog.
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