Wednesday, December 11, 2013
5 Words I Usually Utter in Disdain
Even worse... I've found myself writing about these concepts, and not with my usual disdain. These are 5 words that up until recently, I only understood on the surface, and even with that many of them did not truly apply to me or my life. Maybe, some, at times... but in general? These are the words happy people utter that cause me to scoff.
The words I usually ridicule, but recently find myself embracing... in no particular order...
Perhaps it's the season that has us all embracing such topics? Perhaps it's because these concepts are indeed alive and well in our lives (including my own... a concept which is rather frightening in itself). These 5 words are concepts many of us struggle with - especially during the holidays. Perhaps we lost loved ones. Perhaps we're in a position of feeling hopeless. Perhaps our lives are so chaotic right now, peace is merely a dream.
I find it so strange to consider that only a short time ago, each of these were dreams to me. Actually, they weren't even dreams. I'd given up dreaming many years ago. Yes, I did/do have love - I have a family whom I love dearly. But to show love and have love shown to me and to understand the whole concept on a deeper level was foreign. It went along with trust - no one came into my heart. I didn't realize, I was even holding God at bay. But, I think that's what we do when we close ourselves off from others... as much as we may say we love and trust God, those doors are so locked up, we can't truly feel that love. We can't truly experience it.
When you can't experience the love of God... when you can't allow yourself to trust in Him, and at least a bit in the underlying goodness of mankind... you lose hope. It just isn't there. For me, I really hadn't even noticed this was absent from my life until I was knocked upside the head with the realization that so much more was absent. Without hope, or love, or trust... there is no joy either. No true joy anyway. This isn't to say there aren't moments of honest happiness. But, true living breathing joy? It flew out the window on the wings of hope. And when it's all gone... there can be no real peace. All of these, and I am certain there are more concepts which go along with them... they all play together. And when a couple of them are absent, they eventually all disappear.
While I will most likely touch on each of these more in depth in the days and weeks to come, for now, all I can say with the utmost certainty is that I am incredibly grateful that these concepts have found their way back into my life. Through the patience of a friend, and of God, these have been returned to me. Or, perhaps, they were there all along and this friend simply helped me find them again. Hmmm... something for me to think on...