Tuesday, December 10, 2013

My Next Husband is Going to Be a Pastor

Yup, that's right...

My next husband is going to be a pastor...


I don't have one picked out or anything... but, I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to find one, get him drunk, and convince him to marry me in some cheesy Las Vegas chapel.

Ok, so maybe it will need a little planning. But, have you noticed how many incredibly good looking pastors there are? I still remember the first pastor I ever had a crush on. I was 15 or 16. I'm not sure his age - maybe 27 or 28. But I do remember being able to trust him. He's probably the first person I ever trusted. And, he was one of the first I ever asked to help me. And he was insanely good looking. For some reason, I didn't mind going to both the 8am and 10:30am service. And sure I'll help serve dinner. And clean up. And clean the church. And... what... he's leaving? I'm outta here...

Anyway, I'm getting off topic....


Allow me to quit drooling over pastors and go back to marrying them...

If you think about it, if you marry a doctor, you get free health care, including free anti-depressants. Marry a psychiatrist, you get free therapy, and free anti-depressants. But... if you marry a minister, you get free prayers, and don't need anti-depressants. Ok, so that's not entirely true - but it's funny how many people think that a closer relationship with God means no more depression. If only it were that easy.

Ok, so, perhaps I have had just a little bit too much coffee tonight.

Let me get to my point (I really do have one....)


This post isn't about marrying a pastor. Or being attracted to that sexy collar around their neck. It's about trust. And expectation. And God...

There are people whom we inherently believe can be trusted - pastors, therapists, teachers, parents. Betrayal by these people tends to hit harder than if it were a betrayal by John Doe on the street. There are certain positions which have a built in expectation of being trustworthy. Wrong perhaps, but the expectation is still there. And when that person falls off the pedestal on which we've placed him/her, we tend to write off the entire group. Pastor A betrayed us, therefore all pastors are evil. Professor J betrayed us, therefore all teachers are untrustworthy. Dad walked out on us, therefore every male is going to do the same. It's a rather vicious little circle.

So is trusting someone a bad thing? Or something we should be doing? 

I've heard it suggested that we shouldn't put our trust in man - that only God is worthy of our trust. Well first, I must say, that yes, we can trust God with everything. But, it isn't so cut and dry. And how we trust our Lord is how we should also approach trust when it comes to mankind....

"I trust you God to save my child."... and the child dies.
"I trust you God to keep this storm from hitting our small town." ... and the storm hits the heart of the city, destroying everything.
"I trust you God to bring me peace."... and no peace is found.

This is the problem with trust. We place our expectations on someone else and claim it to be trust. We expect a father to stay in our life and love us. When he doesn't, he has broken that trust. But has he really? Or has he simply broken an expectation we had? See, we as humans trust people to meet our expectations. And this isn't necessarily wrong... except that when you continue to trust someone to meet impossible expectations, you guarantee that the other person will break your trust. When you trust mankind to always act in a Godlike manner, you guarantee your trust will be shattered.

When it comes to God - we trust that His Will is going to prevail. And it will. We trust that He will be with us, no matter what harm may come to us. And, He will. If you take this same approach to man, you find trust to be a bit easier to swallow...

I trust you to be here when you are able. I trust you to accept me, even when you don't agree or approve of my actions. I trust you to love me and to show that love in a way you are comfortable with.

Granted, trust will still be broken. And, more often, trust in outlandish expectations will be broken. We're all only human. But when you look at what trust really means to you - when you look at what is important when it comes to trust and love... is it selfish? Is it unrealistic expectations? No one can continuously meet selfish, unrealistic expectations.

So back to marrying a pastor... 

When I hear the word "pastor", I used to cringe. One person broke my trust of men wearing the collar. That's all it took. But now, the word "pastor" makes me think of someone who can be trusted, and will be there. And lemme tell ya, it took a lot more than just a moment to build up what one moment had broken. Trust isn't something to be taken lightly. Trust is one of those gifts - as important as, and linked to, love - given to us by God. And, it's one of those gifts I want to be able to give more than I do. And well, pastors are (sometimes) worthy of such trust. Therefore, I'm going to marry one.

Now accepting applications...  ;)



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