Tuesday, July 14, 2015
But it didn't completely dawn on me how different today started and is until an hour ago. It didn't dawn on my fully what that simple thought meant.
Those who know me, know I am deathly afraid of bees/wasps/hornets. For some reason, every so often, I get a wasp in my office. So I keep a wasp/hornet killer spray close by my desk. Whenever one of these creatures invades my office, I immediately stand at the door, shaking in fear - about 10 feet from the window they like to play on, and spray the heck out of them... then run out the door and wait for the thing to die.
A couple hours ago, I realized one of these was in my office again. I let him be and continued what I was working on. I wasn't afraid of him. About an hour ago, he started flying around, getting pretty close to me. I decided it was time for him to go away. So... I opened the window and told him to go be free....
I sat back down... and realized what I'd done. Now, to some of you reading this, this may seem like a silly thing to be shocked about. It may seem like a silly thing to care about. It may not make sense why this would even have any meaning. But well, this is my blog, and my feelings, and it doesn't have to make sense to you :-)
Again, that phrase came to me - Today is a new day.
And I realized I got one of the words wrong. Today is not just a new day. Today is a new chapter. Today is the day I realized I don't need to live in fear of so many things. God is with me. I don't need to fear my feelings, my problems, my demons. God is beside me. I don't need to live in that place of sorrow and guilt. God is embracing me. I don't need to live in that place of pain and anger. God's arms are around me.
I am free. I am forgiven. I am beloved. I am here for a purpose, and need to listen to that purpose and follow the path He has set before me.
I am at peace. And I am free to experience that peace.
Today is a new chapter.