Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Why Am I Not Good Enough



A friend of mine shared this video on Facebook not too long ago, and listening to it had me nearly in tears. Why? It is just a 7th grader, reciting a poem she'd written as an end of the school year writing assignment.

But it wasn't just that. It is a 7th grader reciting what most of us feel, even as adults. It is a 7th grader expressing the doubts we, as women, start to feel in our early teens (or younger), and continue to feel as we enter high school, college, and beyond. We want to be accepted and feel we need to dress right, and look right, and be skinny, and have our hair perfect, and talk right, and not be too smart (or too stupid), and hang with the "right" crowd, and well... be anyone other than the person we are.

That's how society is. It's how it's always been.  Whether that society is a school, or a work place, or a church, or a community... we are expected to be more than what God made us. We are told that what God made us to be isn't enough. And we find ourselves continuously wondering "why am I not good enough?"

We wake up and try to cram ourselves into jeans that are a size or two too small, and a bra that lifts our breasts to where they should be and are padded so we appear to be the size we should be. We put on make up to hide those little imperfections. We get frustrated when our hair refuses to be the way it's supposed to be.

We go out into society pasting on the smile we don't feel, holding back the tears or anger or frustrations that would make us look weak or like we're "just female." We tuck away our true talents, fearing we'll be judged or ridiculed. We try to be the quiet docile creatures we're expected to be. We try to be the pure yet tempting creatures we're supposed to be. We try to appear "better" than we are so that others will accept us and love us.

We fail to realize that we are perfect just as we are. Just as God made us.

We fail to realize that because we're told or shown repeatedly that we are not perfect just as we are.

We fail to realize that because we see time and again people leaving us, or ignoring us, or persecuting us, because of who we are.

And...

We fail to realize that because we are so focused on the whole of society rather than God and those God placed in our lives who love us unconditionally...

Maybe it's only one or two people... but we all have someone whom has seen us when we first wake up - our hair in disarray, wearing the same pj's we've worn for a week straight, no make-up on. We all have someone whom has seen us break down crying, our eyes puffy and red. Someone who's seen us get angry and punch things, or go off on a rampage - sometimes for no reason whatsoever. Someone who's seen us secretly painting, or writing, or dancing, or singing, or stealing our child's algebra book because we like math, or working on computers, or fixing cars, or whatever it is that we have the love and talent to do. Someone who's seen us secretly watching weird movies, or reading the Bible, or whatever it is we enjoy doing.

Someone who loves us because of those things. Someone who loves us because of who we truly are... not because of who we try to be.

Someone who loves us as God loves us. Someone who loves us because they know that who we are is who God made, and God does not make mistakes.

Hold onto those people. Believe those people. And learn to see yourself as they see you - as the wonderful and perfect person God created.

You are good enough.


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