Sunday, April 7, 2013

This is Me - Take it or Leave It

I was going to place a cute little quote image on this post... one of those sweet "accept me as I am" images... or a bit more sarcastic "don't like what I have to say? You should hear what I keep to myself" ones. But... I decided to simply post a pic of myself, because that is what this post is about.


First... before I continue... I want to apologize to the person who inspired this post. I understand his comment was not intended as a cut-down or slight in any way, and I do appreciate him taking the time to read my work and comment at all.

This said... I was recently told "seek to decrease personal investment in confession."

This statement got me thinking. Well, to be honest, it pissed me off at first. But, once I calmed down and looked at it rationally, the anger dissipated. But, the initial feeling of it not being right for me stayed.

What do I mean? Well, to explain this, I must first explain who I am as a writer...

I started writing when I was very young (somewhere between the ages of 10 and 12), as a way of working through the crap I was going through in life. This ability and desire to use writing as a way of therapy has continued into my adult life. It is a part of me. It is me. As I am it. It doesn't matter if I am writing a smut story (yes, I write romance), or on this blog, or a letter to someone - every word that escapes my fingertips does so as being cathartic.

I don't write to teach or preach or anything else. I write for me. If it happens to touch someone else's life - great. But who am I to teach that we should follow Christ when I only just realized this notion for myself? Who am I to preach on how we should act when I have willingly broken every commandment made by God? I am no one. I am me.

I write from a very personal place (most of the time). I write from the heart and soul. I write from experience. And I do have a deep seated personal investment in every word that escapes my fingers.

This said, say I do write with the intention of reaching someone. In the case of my post regarding child abuse - I could have written this from a non-personal standpoint, spilling out statistics and facts. But as a survivor of abuse, I know that these statistics mean nothing. Oooo.... I'm 1 in 4 who was abused. I'm 1 in  5 who was raped. .... Yay me? Statistics mean nothing. On the other hand, when I read a story about someone who has experienced similar to me... I realize I am not alone. The numbers mean nothing. The personal account from someone else does.

True - a lot of people will have issues with my writing. I'm too explicit or to honest or too controversial. But, this is how I write. If you don't like it, don't read it.

This is me - take it or leave it.

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