Monday, January 20, 2014

OMG... I What!??!!?

I was reading/working in my "God's Great Blessings devotional" tonight - trying to get a little caught up. I finally finished the 2nd virtue/blessing. The second week's word was "Loving."

In case I forgot to explain... the way this book is set up, there are 6 days which each have a scripture reading and then a devotional, all having to do with one specific virtue, and then the 7th day is just questions reflecting on that virtue. So, January 1-7 was about Listening. And the 8-14 was about Loving (yes, I'm a week behind... a two week trip to Iowa will do that...).

The 6 days on Loving... 

Loving: As God Sings; As God Deserves; As God Loves; My Spouse; With All Knowledge; and My Enemies.

So, I reread each scripture passage, and each devotional, making mental notes as I went along; and sometimes pausing to meditate and pray on a certain section. I love the topic of love in the Bible. I just knew I'd come up with something great on the topic to write a post about. But... before I started writing my post, I wanted to check out day 7 and get those questions out of the way so I could really focus on my post.

"Do you love yourself? What exactly does that mean to you?"

Answer: "Yes."

WOAH! What?!? Hold up! Back up! Delete...
And, reread the question. "Do you love yourself?"


I sat staring at that one little word for several minutes. Even now, writing this post... writing that answer... I find myself stopping and staring at those three little letters.

Yes? Where on earth did that answer come from? Well, of course, the answer to "where on earth did that answer come from" is easy now... it didn't come from earth. It came from God.

But quite honestly, I was (am) shell-shocked at the ease of which that answer slipped from my fingertips. I have never loved myself. I have never found myself worthy of love - not from myself, nor from friends or family, and especially not from God. Things in my past... things in my present... most likely things in my future... all prevent me from being worthy of love - or, at least, this was my thinking before.

But somehow, somewhere, at some point in time, it finally sunk in. I am loved. I am worthy of love. And I do love myself. Ok, so maybe I'm not really always all that worthy of love - especially from God, considering all the ways I've found to be stupid in my life. But, He still loves me! I AM a beloved child of God! Oh My God, I want to scream this from the rooftop. I'm suddenly so completely filled with love, I'm crying. I'm overwhelmed with it all... but in a spectacular way. I want to run around from person to person, giving each one a big kiss on the cheek and proclaiming "YOU are loved"... "and YOU are loved!"... "and YOU are loved!"...and then go kiss a mirror and scream "I love you!"

And, I've gotten myself so completely energized and excited and filled with love, that I have completely forgotten where I intended on going with this post. Therefore, I'm not even going to bother to try making it go anywhere.... it's already gone to the most important place - Love.

I LOVE MYSELF! Thank you God! And, thank you! 

And to all my lovely, wonderful readers and friends.... I love you, and God loves you, too. And I pray you all love yourselves, because you are worth it.

God Bless!

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