A few days ago, my carpal tunnel came back, and I could not for the life of me find my compression glove. So, typing was rather difficult. Then, when I found a way to keep typing to push my blog posts out there, I suddenly lost any writing brain power (with the exception of whining to a couple friends... pastors really do make wonderful (and wonderfully annoying) friends).
But, I still found ways to talk and write and quite simply not focus on God. And so yesterday, I lost my voice. Now granted, yes, I have been sick with a cold. And I generally don't blame God when I'm sick or lose my voice. But this time... I'm pretty sure He stole it away. I'm pretty sure it's His way of saying:
"Ok child... Shut up and listen to Me!"When I first made my Lent goal of writing a blog post every day (which, I've already been rather unsuccessful with), it was with the intention that I would be spending more time with God. Bible study, prayer, hammering out posts on Christ and love and the Gospel. Instead, I've found myself preoccupied with concerns about what I'm going to write, and why my stat numbers are down so much the past couple months. I've forgotten about the original reason I started this goal.
This is why I had decided not to fast. I've heard that so many people fast during Lent, but get so wrapped up in keeping the fast, they forget why they're doing it in the first place. I didn't want that. But, this is exactly what has happened.