Thursday, March 7, 2013
God Made Me Wrong
I think most of us have felt we were made "wrong" at one point or another. Perhaps it's something simple - we're too short, too tall... we have a crooked nose or misshapen skull. Maybe it's something more serious - we were born without both legs, or with a sixth finger. Maybe it's internal - we were born with a disease, or a heart defect. Physical problems and differences can cause all of us to think we're not normal - that maybe God messed up when he made us.
This feeling is especially true in those of us who were born with psychological and/or personality disorders. And I am willing to bet everyone reading this either a) has a disorder or b) knows someone who does. It's much more common that one would think.
One personality disorder comes to mind more than most when I think about the different disorders - Borderline Personality Disorder. But, the majority of this post can be applied to most all disorders. A lot of people often look at people with BPD as either faking the disorder, exaggerating it, or - they believe it, but believe that it is caused by either the person being spiritually weak, or possessed by something evil.
Imagine you have BPD - you have a constant and uncontrollable fear of abandonment; intensely unstable emotions and relationships. One moment, you're having a rational conversation with someone you love - the next moment you hate this person and lash out, while begging the person not to leave. You feel empty, depressed... you try to help these feelings by cutting yourself, or popping pills, or drinking, or seducing strangers into your bed.
And when your brain isn't in turmoil, and the chaos is temporarily under control, you see how people really think of you - the way they back away. You hear them talking behind your back about you being evil, or not having a relationship with God. Or just thinking you're weird. And, you start to think (or, rather, continue to think) that God made you wrong.
First, allow me to say that most people with BPD are highly religious. Prayer, and a relationship with God, is a comfort to their chaotic minds.Philippians 4:6-7 tells it nicely - and is quite important, especially the last part... "and the peace of God.... will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
When is the last time you looked down on someone who just didn't seem "right"? When is the last time you cut someone out of your life because you couldn't deal with the drama.. you couldn't deal with the "I hate you! Don't leave me!" attitude? How many times have you looked at someone and thought "wow, God made that person wrong." Maybe you don't even realize you're thinking it. Maybe you don't realize how much you're hurting this person by your decision to walk away and/or ignore this strange person.
God created man in his image... we may not be "perfect" in physical appearance, or in our minds, but we are all created by God, in his image. Our souls - our hearts - those are in God's image, and capable of greatness. Do not dismiss someone simply because that person does not look or act quite right.
Would you stop to help the person with the missing leg? Would you stop to help the person born without sight? Would you stop to help the person on an oxygen tank?
So why won't you stop to help the person who's just a little over-dramatic and high maintenance?