Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Money Can't Buy Love - But it Can Buy Sex (which is the same thing)

So, here's the premise...

Oh, but first... SPOILER ALERT! If you're one of those strange people who hasn't yet watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series... or Angel television series... the next couple paragraphs will give away a bit of the story line...

One Moment of True Happiness

So... here's the premise. Liam was a jerk of a man a few hundred years ago - a drunkard and womanizer. He is turned into the vampire Angelus, where those wonderful traits of his get a hundred times worse. Angelus screws up - he tortures and kills a young gypsy girl, who's family is not too happy. They place a curse on him, giving him back his soul so he can feel the guilt and pain and shame for every murder he committed. Now known as Angel, this vampire stops killing, and becomes one of the good guys.

He meets the vampire slayer, Buffy, and falls in love with her. Well, the part of the curse he wasn't aware of  - should he enjoy just one moment of true happiness, he becomes Angelus again. He loses his soul again. And, this is what happens. And what is that one moment of true happiness?


Sex is a Requirement of Love

Or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that sex is a requirement of marriage, and a part of love. You cannot have a marriage... or love with a spouse... without sex. I was actually quite amazed at how many people seem to believe this. And, many of them use 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 to support this belief.

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

Basically, this is interpreted as - "you can have sex with your spouse whenever you want (regardless of his/her feelings at the moment); and that you must have sex with each other whenever one wants it.... otherwise you're opening the door to cheating on your spouse, or being cheated on." The nice thing about this... it gives you an out. You can go cheat on your spouse and simply say "Well, you didn't give me enough and therefore I was tempted! It's your fault!" 

Money Can Buy Love and Happiness!

To summarize where we're at so far...

Sex = Happiness
Sex = Love

(SIDE NOTE: If you're any good at math, you'll recognize that if sex = happiness, and sex = love, love should equal happiness. Anyone who is married can tell you that's not always true. Anyone who's divorced can tell you it's a flat out lie.)

There's a quote which states money can't buy happiness. There's also one that says money can't buy love. However... Money can buy sex. Therefore, as we've already determined sex is love and sex is happiness, money should be able to buy us both.

The Problem with this Thinking

Sex is true happiness:
Don't get me wrong - sex is great. I love it just as much as the next person... when it's with someone I love and someone I want to give pleasure to. But (at least, in my opinion) sex is not that moment of true happiness. Yes, a temporary euphoria. A high. A wonderful, spectacular moment. But it is not true happiness. And to teach it as being true happiness? It's kind of like handing a teenager a checkbook and telling him that as long as there are check blanks, he's got money to spend.

Sex is necessary in love/marriage:
What if you marry someone who isn't medically able to have sex - does this give you license to cheat? What if your wife doesn't want to have sex one night - does this give you license to force her? While I have met some people who do believe such things, I do not. Yes, sex is generally healthy in a marriage. But it is not a requirement. And even if it were, it is never right to just take because his/her body belongs to you through the marriage.

Let Sex be Secondary

If we truly want to be happy in our lives - we cannot look towards sex, or even towards a spouse/significant other. We need to be looking to God.We need to look inwards, and listen to the Holy Spirit within us. We need to look to the heavens, sincere in our prayers.

We need to love God, and learn to love others as Christ has loved us. We need to embrace our spouse in our hearts and minds, but not necessarily with our bodies. We are told to love as Christ loves. I don't recall any Bible verses where Christ has sex with us as a part of His love for us.

May you all find joy and love in the grace of our Lord - not through the carnal privileges we've been given (although, I do wish you all a good sex life as well).

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