Money Can't Buy Love - But it Can Buy Sex (which is the same thing)

So, here's the premise...

Oh, but first... SPOILER ALERT! If you're one of those strange people who hasn't yet watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series... or Angel television series... the next couple paragraphs will give away a bit of the story line...

One Moment of True Happiness

So... here's the premise. Liam was a jerk of a man a few hundred years ago - a drunkard and womanizer. He is turned into the vampire Angelus, where those wonderful traits of his get a hundred times worse. Angelus screws up - he tortures and kills a young gypsy girl, who's family is not too happy. They place a curse on him, giving him back his soul so he can feel the guilt and pain and shame for every murder he committed. Now known as Angel, this vampire stops killing, and becomes one of the good guys.

He meets the vampire slayer, Buffy, and falls in love with her. Well, the part of the curse he wasn't aware of  - should he enjoy just one moment of true happiness, he becomes Angelus again. He loses his soul again. And, this is what happens. And what is that one moment of true happiness?

Sex.

Sex is a Requirement of Love

Or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that sex is a requirement of marriage, and a part of love. You cannot have a marriage... or love with a spouse... without sex. I was actually quite amazed at how many people seem to believe this. And, many of them use 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 to support this belief.

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

Basically, this is interpreted as - "you can have sex with your spouse whenever you want (regardless of his/her feelings at the moment); and that you must have sex with each other whenever one wants it.... otherwise you're opening the door to cheating on your spouse, or being cheated on." The nice thing about this... it gives you an out. You can go cheat on your spouse and simply say "Well, you didn't give me enough and therefore I was tempted! It's your fault!" 

Money Can Buy Love and Happiness!

To summarize where we're at so far...

Sex = Happiness
Sex = Love

(SIDE NOTE: If you're any good at math, you'll recognize that if sex = happiness, and sex = love, love should equal happiness. Anyone who is married can tell you that's not always true. Anyone who's divorced can tell you it's a flat out lie.)

There's a quote which states money can't buy happiness. There's also one that says money can't buy love. However... Money can buy sex. Therefore, as we've already determined sex is love and sex is happiness, money should be able to buy us both.

The Problem with this Thinking

Sex is true happiness:
Don't get me wrong - sex is great. I love it just as much as the next person... when it's with someone I love and someone I want to give pleasure to. But (at least, in my opinion) sex is not that moment of true happiness. Yes, a temporary euphoria. A high. A wonderful, spectacular moment. But it is not true happiness. And to teach it as being true happiness? It's kind of like handing a teenager a checkbook and telling him that as long as there are check blanks, he's got money to spend.

Sex is necessary in love/marriage:
What if you marry someone who isn't medically able to have sex - does this give you license to cheat? What if your wife doesn't want to have sex one night - does this give you license to force her? While I have met some people who do believe such things, I do not. Yes, sex is generally healthy in a marriage. But it is not a requirement. And even if it were, it is never right to just take because his/her body belongs to you through the marriage.

Let Sex be Secondary

If we truly want to be happy in our lives - we cannot look towards sex, or even towards a spouse/significant other. We need to be looking to God.We need to look inwards, and listen to the Holy Spirit within us. We need to look to the heavens, sincere in our prayers.

We need to love God, and learn to love others as Christ has loved us. We need to embrace our spouse in our hearts and minds, but not necessarily with our bodies. We are told to love as Christ loves. I don't recall any Bible verses where Christ has sex with us as a part of His love for us.

May you all find joy and love in the grace of our Lord - not through the carnal privileges we've been given (although, I do wish you all a good sex life as well).

Women are here to please men!

I've got a bone to pick... or, a stick to stab in someone's eye...

A while back, I read something that just made me want to hurl (someone off a cliff). A couple days ago, the author of the article brought it to my attention again. The silly man likes to provoke me.

Anyway, this article made several claims which the author passed off as truth. And, not just any truth. God Himself says this is how it is, and if you aren't following this, you obviously don't believe in God and/or the Bible. And, the author is using the article to educate young men and women. Some of the claims he makes include:

• Women belong to men
• Women's happiness is dependent upon their relationships with men
• Men are the stronger party; women the weaker vessel
• Women (wives) feel dependent on their husbands when their husbands have sex with them
• If a husband isn't pleased with his wife, the woman sees this during sex and knows she cannot please him (which, of course, will make her unhappy)
• God made women want to please men
• Women associate sex with making babies
• ... my personal favorite: the love children get from their mother comes from the love the mother gets from her husband. If she gets no love from him, she is incapable of giving love to her children.

Dangerous Teachings!

Now, I'm not going to get into all the Bible verses regarding husbands and wives. The quick and dirty summary - mutual submission. Look it up on Google. Read it in the Bible. If whatever article you find regarding husbands and wives does not embrace mutual submission; but instead claims the husband rules his wife and she's basically no more than property to him, or alive simply to please him (which of course, very few articles actually say, but that's what many boil down to)... then whoever wrote it doesn't understand the Bible.

This said.... allow me to address the bullet points above.

An argument used to support these bullet points was that so many young ladies are seeking attention from men, often to the point of premarital sex and pregnancy.

I don't think this supports these bullet points. Instead, it is the belief in these bullet points which causes girls to seek attention from men, have premarital sex, and get pregnant.

If a girl believes her happiness is dependent upon a relationship with a man, she's going to seek a relationship with a man!

If she believes her only purpose is to please men, she's going to do what she must to please him. If she believes she is only on this planet to serve men, she's going to try to serve men.

We are teaching our girls to seek attention from men when we spread the lies listed in the bullet points above!

The Truth (as I see it...)

• Women (and men) belong to God
• A woman's happiness is dependent upon her relationship with Christ, and on seeking to better herself and follow her own goals and dreams
• Men are usually the stronger party physically, but other than that, women are definitely not weaker vessels!
• Most women enjoy sex. They are (usually) not sexually submissive. They do not feel dependent on men just because the man has sex with them; and most of us really love getting and giving pleasure
• God made women as a companion and helpmate to men. Not to please man.
• Women associate sex with a number of different things, depending on the woman, and her mood at the time. These can include making babies, showing love, feeling loved, giving pleasure, receiving pleasure... or sometimes, we just need that sexual release.
• The love children get from their mother comes from the mother. End of story. 

Please stop teaching our girls to be possessions!!!

 
God did not intend the female species to be simple possessions of men. Our wives, daughters, sisters, mothers... they are not here to please men. They are not here to be submissive to men. And their happiness does NOT depend on men.

Please teach the girls in your life to live up to their own potential. Please teach them to follow God, and love everyone, including themselves. Please teach them they can find happiness outside a man/marriage - and, in fact, will most likely only find a pseudo/temporary happiness if they are seeking that happiness from a man.

Please stop teaching our girls they are nothing more than possessions, reliant on men.