I work. I take care of the kids. I clean the house. I do the laundry. I cook. I take care of you. I tell you I love you. I make time for you. I let you pick the movie. I let you have you-time.
You said you love me. You let me have a little time to myself. You asked how my day went.
Obviously, I’m a better spouse than you are. I love you more. I am working harder, trying harder. The score is 10 to 3 – it’s pretty obvious who is winning here…
How often do we tend to get like this? Not just with our spouse – we do this with friends, co-workers, people in our church. We like to think we’re doing more in our relationships and responsibilities than the other person/people. We like to keep score.
There are a few problems with this. First – in some cases, we really don’t know how much the other person is actually doing. But regardless if we do know everything or not, it is not fair to compare. Are you doing these things out of true love, caring, and generosity? Or are you doing them to simply be the better person… to win some non-existent game?
Are we babysitting the children of a friend, and helping them out with yard work or financial issues or personal problems because we actually care about our friend? Or, when they are unable to return the favors we’ve done, are we comparing and keeping score. Are we saying “well, I’ve done this and this and this. And she can’t even be bothered to do something for me?”
No one wins when we play that game. No one wins when we start keeping score. Resentment builds, distance grows, and eventually relationships wither.
Today’s Lenten sacrifice:
Stop keeping score!
Imagine if God kept score. Imagine if God looked down on you and thought “Okay, the score is 50,000 to 10. I’m done helping until she gives me a little more.” Thankfully, we have a God who does not keep score – a God who continues to help us and forgive us and love us, and continue doing so forever.
And this is how we should be to one another. We need to continue helping those in need and loving those in our lives – unconditionally.