Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I'm Slipping...

Have you ever looked back and thought "Oh wow! I've come a long way..."

And then, you hit that sheet of ice and down you go?

I haven't written in a week (with the exception of a guest article, which was difficult for me to write). It's been a rough week - one thing after another. Emotional breakdowns. Temper tantrums. Health issues (food poisoning is so very not fun). Bad news on loved ones. Crises of faith.

But tonight I realized something. Perhaps it's the dehydration. Or the fact that I'm just too drained to think straight. But, I've realized that I keep missing that sign. I am so busy looking back and thinking "I've come a long way this year"... or "wow.. I'm still as sad and pathetic and lost as I was a year ago." And regardless of which way my thoughts take me, I miss that "Watch for ice" sign, and down I go. And this week, I've been doing a lot of looking back. And a lot of slipping on that ice.

But, I also realized something else tonight. God truly does have a way of smacking me upside the head when I miss His more subtle signs. I didn't just miss the sign and slip past it this time - I smacked right into it. (Thank you, Lord)

So, starting tonight, I will actually be spending more time listening to God. Why? Because I realize, I don't listen to Him. Not nearly as often as I should, anyway. I go to church. I teach Sunday School. I go to Bible Study. I've even added a 2nd Bible study to my agenda. I read my Bible (sometimes). I read devotionals (sometimes). I write blogs on Christian topics. I get into debates on topics of Christianity and religion and the Bible and God. I make more of an effort to pray with and for loved ones. But, the more I take on, and the more I talk to God - the less I listen to Him.

What does this mean in terms of my blog? I have no clue. I may write less so I can spend more time with God. I may end up writing more, if this is what God calls on me to do.

So why am I writing this? Because it's my blog and I feel like writing it. And, because I feel a need to express the importance - especially to myself - to truly listen to God. It doesn't matter how much talking and attending and reading we do if we don't open our hearts and minds to hear and understand God.

"Blessed are those who listen to me..." (Proverbs 8:34)

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