10 Things Learned at the Altar

It's been over 2 weeks since I've posted anything on this blog. My mind has been focused elsewhere (in particular, on a "real" sermon I get to write and preach in a couple weeks). But still, I think this is the longest break I've taken since I started this almost 3 years ago. It's hard to believe I've already had this blog for that long. And, it's hard to believe it's only been that long. It, and God, and the Church, have been so much a part of my life in these few years - and it was such a drastic and sudden change. And yet, I don't think I learned as much in those few years as I have in the past couple days.

I've spent the past two evenings at my church, working on my sermon. Both evenings turned out being complete opposite in my emotions and my productivity. But each evening taught me a lot about myself and my spirituality. Some of these lessons were given me before... it just wasn't until the past couple days that it sunk in. Some of these lessons I understood to a degree before... it just wasn't until the past couple days that a more complete understanding and acceptance filled me. But anyway, before beginning work on the sermon, and periodically while working on it, I would go sit in front of the altar in prayer. Here are a few things that came to light either yesterday evening or this evening...


1) Having someone tell me I am a beloved child of God lifts my heart, even when the voices are chiming in loud and clear "no you're not! He's lying to you!"

2) Having someone pray for me to have peace does give me a little peace, even when the voices try to keep the chaos going.

3) Sitting or kneeling on the floor in front of the altar of an empty church is one of the safest places I have ever been.

4) More often than not, I need to feel God's arms around me in physical form, especially when I am hurting.

5) I have a very difficult time praying out loud, especially when it is a prayer for myself. The words fail me. All I can do is open my heart and let God in.

 

6) Praying with someone else silently, or with the other person praying out loud, while our hands are linked together, is perhaps the most intense positive experience I've had.

7) When I am really depressed, and sitting within the Church, the chaos in my mind hides, and what remains is pure heartache.

8) Hearts and minds and lives can be changed through through Christ.

9) A cross on the forehead with water gives me an instantaneous feeling of peace.

10) I have truly been blessed by God in so many ways.

Now, as I said, some of these I have learned (and probably written about) before. But for some reason, these past two days, each of these lessons grew as I sat there alone in front of the altar in an empty church.

Some of these others may relate to. Some, perhaps, are just me. And some people, hopefully, have their own lessons they've learned. And for those who've never taken the opportunity to go sit before that altar, I highly recommend it.

God bless

Probably Not Good Reasons to Go to Church

An email to a friend earlier today got me thinking (I know... scary!). I had mentioned how some people go to Bible Study for the wrong reasons. And, after babbling about this topic to him, it made me realize that a) I have attended Bible Study for the wrong reasons before; and b) this isn't necessarily a bad thing. And, it also made me wonder how many people go to Church for the wrong reasons, and what might those reasons be. Which, of course, made me realize that I, too, have probably attended Church service for the wrong reason.

For example, I've read on many articles (while trying to gather up a few more "bad reasons to go to Church) that we shouldn't go to Church simply because of the Pastor (i.e. going because we think the pastor is handsome, or dynamic, or popular, or just a good guy). Well, this is actually a big part of the reason I started attending the Church I belong to now. Not that I thought he was handsome or popular or anything... I mean, I don't think he's not handsome or popular... but... Ok, I should probably stop babbling before I get myself into trouble. What I am trying to say is that this particular pastor had become someone I could trust, and someone who made Church sound like maybe not such a bad idea.

And because of this, I started going; and now, my reasons for attending have nothing to do with him, or our current pastor, or any one person. This is why I say that having a bad reason to start with isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, regardless of why we walked through the door, we find something much deeper and more meaningful which keeps us coming.

So... the list below is more of a list of bad reasons some people continue attending a Church.... Oh, before I begin... please note that some of these are not necessary bad (i.e. singing in the choir is good), but if it's the sole or main reason you're attending, then ya might want to reevaluate..

Bad Reasons to Go to Church: 

1.    To find a spouse
2.    To call yourself a Christian (sitting in a Church makes you as much of a Christian as standing in a garage makes you a car)
3.    To appear religious to family and friends
4.    To find clients for your business
5.    To sing in the choir or play instruments
6.    To get right with the Lord (hey, hey! I go to Church, therefore I am saved!)
7.    Because of the Pastor/Preacher (he’s handsome, dynamic, friendly, smart, etc)
8.    For the entertainment
9.    So God will answer your prayers
10.    Because you feel obligated (i.e. your family goes there, it’s where you got married, etc)
11.    To show off your body or clothes (this one could probably be lumped in with the first one on this list… although, if you’re dressed [or undressed] to show off your body, you may not necessarily find yourself a good wholesome Christian spouse..)
12.    They have a school
13.    It’s a beautiful, ornate church (obviously, the more elaborate the building, the more prestigious you’ll appear if you are a member)
14.    The people are very nice
15.    To get your needs met
16.    It offers enticing programs and events (midweek daycare, craft classes, ladies tea time [read: gossip hour], has family social evenings, youth group, retreats, bingo night, raffles, etc.)
17.    They have a popular TV program
18.    Building is geographically convenient (ok, this doesn’t work for many of us who live in a small town and are seriously limited as to available Churches… but I left it on this list anyway)
19.    Monetary & food gifts for members (some Churches do this??? I always find the wrong ones…)
20.    You agree with their political views
21.    You are dating one of their members
22.    The church needs me
23.    Important/influential people attend

The Secret to a Deeper Relationship with God

Yesterday, I was having a discussion regarding my spiritual journey - how it started and why, and where it is now. I made a comment that up until a few years ago, I wasn't spiritual.

When I went home, I found myself curious as to my answer. Granted, I hadn't been one for organized religion until a few years ago (and even now I don't see it as a prerequisite for spirituality), but I had always considered myself spiritual back then, even if I didn't go to Church. I had a relationship with God. Didn't I?

And I came to realize that no... I didn't. I didn't have a relationship with God because I did not have a relationship with other people. I hid from people. Yes, sure, I prayed sometimes when I needed something. And I even opened my Bible from time to time (although, that was usually just to compare and contrast different religions).

But I didn't take the time to give of myself, or to allow others to give back.  I didn't truly understand the importance of interconnectedness with others and with God. I didn't think others were needed for me to have a close and deep personal relationship with God. I didn't realize just how little of a relationship with Him I actually had. And I didn't realize just how much I was missing out.

Now, don't get me wrong - I still do not believe it is necessary to be in a physical Church. But I do believe it is necessary to have a group of like-faith people you can lean on. And I do believe it is necessary to reach out to those in need, whether they are Christian or not. I do believe that the relationships we develop with others, and the love we share with others, are what bring us closer to Christ and to heaven on earth.

I'm sure you've all heard/read the poem "Footprints in the Sand", where there are two sets of footprints - God's and the author's. I am so blessed to know that there have been many sets of footprints alongside mine. Thank you to all those who've been there with me on my journey - it is a privilege and gift to have you walking with me, sometimes carrying me, sometimes letting me carry you. That's what spirituality and Christianity are about.

God bless!

Effectiveness Does Not Equal Butts in the Pew

If you add more sugar - it'll be sweeter. If you add less - it will be less sweet.
If the class scores higher - the teacher is doing well; if the class scores lower - the teacher isn't doing well.
If your church doubles the number of congregants - it's effective; if it loses people - it's ineffective....

In an ideal world, the logic of adding sugar, or children's test scores, should also apply to Church effectiveness. But, we don't live in an ideal world.

Standing in a Garage Does not Make You a Car

 There's a saying - "Sitting in Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." (Or, something to that affect.) And, this is true.

I have been part of Church communities where the pews are packed full of people who just do not live Christian lifestyles. They believe going to Church is all they need to do, and can spend the other 6.5 days turning their backs on the poor and helpless, insulting and talking behind the backs of others, and sinning without a second thought as to their actions.

I have also been part of Church communities where there are only a few butts in the pews, but the people owning those butts spread the news of Christ through their words, and actions, and service towards all. 

Why Effectiveness Cannot be Measured by Numbers

On Facebook earlier, there was a conversation going on about how, if a Church is effectively changing people, it will equal greater numbers. Now, as I stated before, this logic does make sense... in an ideal world. If a Church has changed people to live more Christian lifestyles, one would assume these people are going out into the world and bringing more people into the Church. We are called, after all, to spread the Good News.

But logic and reality rarely meet.

There are many who are turned off by the idea of traditional Church. What appeals to me does not appeal to others. I do believe that inside each of us is a desire to know God and His love. But how we do that differs. And, of course, there are those who simply will not admit to a need to know Him. They do not believe. They do not want to believe. I could talk until I'm blue in the face, and do everything in my power (and with the power of the Holy Spirit working within me) to show these people the grace and mercy and love of Christ, and how much better my life is by knowing Him, and I still would not be able to get their butt in the pew - short of dragging them there kicking and screaming and duct taping their butts in those pews.

But, does that make the Church effective? Does having unwilling people sitting in the pew, their ears turned off to the message of Christ, make that Church effective simply because I managed to drag another body there?

I live in the middle of nowhere, North Dakota. It's a small town with a population less than what many would consider a small Church membership. And this population is divided into 5 or 6 Churches, with each Church losing numbers annually due to a dwindling town population. Do these smaller memberships, caused by the loss of a town population, equate to an ineffective Church?

Church Effectiveness Can Only Be Measured By Changed Lives

I'm sure we could find some cool mathematical formula that measures the change in people's lives due to Church, the change in Church populations, factoring in all the circumstances which could cause a growth or decline in membership, and in those members who actually willingly plant their bottoms in pews every week... and this formula would spit out that yes, an effective Church will both change lives and grow in numbers (i.e. we lost 15% due to population decrease, and 5% due to a generation who feels being a Christian does not mean having to attend a Church, but gained 5% because we're effective at reaching out to others, which actually results in a loss of members but a gain due to effectiveness...).

But, even typing that was confusing. All we truly have to go by is the people we meet within the walls of the Church - seeing how their lives have changed because of being there. You can have a congregation of 200, only 5% who have actually started living better lives; or you can have a congregation of 50, with 95% who have actually started living better lives. Which Church is more effective?

Stop Worrying about the Numbers

Don't get me wrong - it is important to have people in those pews listening to the message. It is important to reach out to others and invite them to join your faith community. But, it is more important to have a strong and effective Church - one that holds members close, changes their lives, helps them gain a closer relationship with God and with the community, helps them live differently.

When churches put too much focus on the number of butts in the pews, they lose effectiveness. When they focus on their effectiveness, they make stronger Christians. This may or may not equate to more butts in the pews, but it will equate to move loving Christ-like people.

I'm Right and You're Wrong so Suck It

I have realized that arguing about the Bible/Church teachings is just a waste of time

Does it really matter if the Bible says we cannot work on the Sabbath but that Jesus does exactly that? Does it matter if Jesus died on a Thursday or a Friday? Does it matter we take time to enjoy fellowship and also take time for private worship with God?

Does it matter if the Church teaches/practices infant baptism, or adult baptism? Does it matter if they practice a communal cup during Holy Communion or little tiny glasses of wine/grape juice? Does it matter if they consider these things mainly symbolic, or if they place a much higher emphasis on them?

And no, I'm not looking for an answer to any of these questions. To me, the answers do not really matter. You can believe what you want. I'll believe what I want. 

And yes, I realize it is a bit odd for me to be saying this. I am one of the "I'm right, you're wrong, so suck it!" types of people quite often when it comes to the Bible. I love pulling out verses to say "Ha! You have it all wrong you idiot!" to someone else. And I hate when someone else manages to do that to me. But, that's just because I'm human and I know what the Bible says to me. And, like most humans, if it says that to me, well then, shouldn't it be saying the same thing to everyone else?

And I admittedly have preconceived beliefs on the importance of Baptism and Holy Communion, and often feel that yup, my way (my Church's way) is right. Yours isn't. Sorry. And of course, these two are found in the Bible, therefore again, I'm right and why do you all just not see this?

The Bible/Church Does NOT Say the Same Thing to Everyone

For the past year or so, I have been attending church very regularly, and also been attending Bible Study quite often. When the Pastor gives a sermon, what I hear from the sermon and from the Scripture readings is not always the same as the person in the pew behind me. This is the same with Bible Study. One of the two Bible Studies I attend, we have very open discussions, going around to each woman, asking her what she gets from the text. And it isn't always the same. Most often, there are differences - at least minor ones - in our interpretations.

Why? Because we read the Bible as it pertains to our lives. We hear what the Pastor says as it pertains to our personal situations and experiences.

And I don't think this is wrong. In fact, I think it is what God intended.

This doesn't necessarily mean the Bible is open to interpretation. I do believe there is one meaning to the Bible as a whole. And, I have a very strong opinion on what that meaning is. But how we absorb these things, and what we hold importance to, is going to differ.

Yes, some of the text is non-arguable in my opinion. God created everything. God came to earth as Christ Jesus to live an earthly existence, and to die, and to rise again. But the Bible is not intended to be a how-to manual. It's not a rule book. It's a guide. It's meant to light our path - but whether that path is lit with lamps, or candles, or street lights... does it really matter? As long as we're all on a path to God... all following the path lit by Him... does it really matter?


Does it really matter if you're right and I'm wrong? Or I'm right and you're wrong?

If we have prayed for understanding, and read the Scripture, and prayed on what we read, and truly opened our hearts to the Holy Spirit to guide us... rather than blindly following what our church or preacher tells us we must believe... are any of us truly wrong?

Why I Don't Listen to the Bible or Church

First, allow me to state that the irony (and/or sheer stupidity) of some of what I'm about to write does not escape me. I quite literally chuckled out loud as I was playing this post through in my mind and seeking Scripture references. You'll see what I mean (maybe) in a few moments (should you continue reading, of course)...

I Don't Listen to the Bible

Oh dear. Did I really just say that?

Allow me to explain...

I do not know Jesus loves me because the Bible tells me so. While a pretty song, I disagree with those first two lines.

I do not love God because the Bible tells me to do so.

I do not avoid killing people, nor do I attempt to not hate people, because it's in the Bible (sorry for the double/triple negative there).

I do not believe in God because the Bible says to. I do not follow Christ because it says to. I do not pray because I'm told to. I do not try to listen for God's voice because it tells me I should.

I do not believe I am saved because it is written in the Bible.

I Don't Listen to the Church or those Teaching

All of what I wrote above... goes the same if I'm hearing it from my pastor, or from others within the Church, or because that is what the Church believes.

I Listen to God

Don't get me wrong - it is good to read the Bible. I think it is essential to our Spiritual growth. I also think it is good to listen to our teachers/preachers/pastors/priests. I believe they are also essential to our Spiritual growth. I also think it is essential to listen to different points of view on different subjects regarding Christianity, and even other religions. This doesn't mean we have to follow/believe these points of view - we just need to be open to listen.

And then, most importantly, we need to be open to listen to God. I do not believe Jesus/God loves me because it's in the Bible, or because a Sunday School teacher told me so, or even because a pastor who is my mentor has told me this. I believe it because God has put that faith within me.

I try to avoid sin (usually), not because it is written in the Bible, or because a man called by God says to avoid it, but because it is a desire God has put within my heart.

I try to follow in Christ's footsteps because that is the path God has programmed into my internal GPS navigation system.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1:1) - The Word of God came before the Bible. And after the Bible. And today. 

"You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life." (John 5:39-40) - We must turn to God. Not the Bible... God.

"I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth." (1 Corinthians 3:6) - pretty self explanatory, in my mind. Yes, the Bible and teachers and the Church help. They are essential. They are builders. But they are not the foundation.

As I said before, yes, the Bible and Church are important. But God must be the foundation, otherwise you can read the Bible a hundred times over and not be a true believer or follower. You can go to every Church service and not be a true believer or follower. God's Voice is the one we must listen to - the voice that echoes through our very soul, mind and heart.


(Oh... and in case you didn't recognize the irony... I'm using Bible verses to explain why I don't listen to the Bible.... Clever me.... )

And the #1 Way to Build Up or Tear Down Your Church...

It was mentioned that I had forgotten a very important item in my lists on how to kill the church. It's a biggie. And, perhaps it should have been on the list. I kept it off because I had planned on doing another post with the top 5 (or 10 or 20 or whatever) Biblical reasons the church face-plants. But, as I was trying to plan for this post, I realized that the 5 reasons (which actually weren't 5... but that isn't the point) were all actually the same reason.

What is this reason?

One simple one... and, I might add, a concept that is found quite often in the Bible...

Hypocrisy. 

How many times have you seen scenarios such as:

You're in church, being preached to about adultery. It's a wonderful sermon, told with such passion, with scripture read that supports every word uttered. The married lady in the pew in front of you is nodding, clearly moved by the minister's words.

You leave the church spiritually filled and feeling close to God.

And as you're walking about, you start hearing the old ladies in front of you gossiping about how horrible that one kid is. And you see a couple gentlemen heading over to the bar. And you see the nodding woman worriedly look around, before slipping into a car with someone who is not her husband. Remembering you left your jacket in the church, you slip back inside and a shadow in the corner calls your attention - and you stand flabbergasted as you watch the pastor having a hot and heavy make-out session with that new young unwed church member.

Hypocrisy.

Or what about the not-so-elaborate scenarios....

The "better-than-thou" couple who sit in judgment of all these sinners within the church, speaking ill of them for drinking and gambling and whatever else they find to talk about. This alone is bad enough... but it's usually these people whom you'll find drinking and gambling and whatever else they find.

It is usually those who act the most religious - and do so in front of others...
Those who act better than others - and make no effort to hide it...

It's these kind of people whom you will find not lifting a finger to help the hungry family across the street; or sick single mother; or the elderly woman who can no longer shovel her walk. It's these kind of people who close their eyes to the needy while telling everyone that they are here to help.

Love.

This ties in with hypocrisy... and I actually touched on it already in the last couple paragraphs... but the one form of hypocrisy that, in my opinion, is worse than all others is the kind that claims it's all about love, but hates certain people.

We all have issues showing love at all times. But if a church claims it is built on the Gospel, this would mean that the church is built on love. That is what Christ was (and still is) about - love. If this church turns away people for any reason... if this church marginalizing anyone... they're hypocrites. If this church is accepting and tolerant of anyone - particularly those in leadership positions - turning away people, or marginalizing people - it's a hypocritical church. 

We're all sinners... BUT....

True, we are all sinners. We cannot be perfect. But, this does not mean we shouldn't try to walk what we talk... practice what we preach... live what we teach.

1 John 4:20 - Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
 

Ezekiel 33:31-32 - My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to hear your words, but they do not put them into practice. Their mouths speak of love, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice.
 

James 1:26 - Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.
 

Luke 13:14-15 - Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue leader said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”

The Lord answered him, “You hypocrites! Doesn’t each of you on the Sabbath untie your ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water?

Matthew 15:7-9 - You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:

“‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’”

Matthew 23:3 - So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.
 

Matthew 23:5 - “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long;
 

Matthew 6:1-2 - “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

Matthew 7:3-5 - “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
 

Romans 2:1-5 - You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.

Titus 1:16 - They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

How to Kill Your Church... Steps 6-10

As promised, here is part two on How to Kill Your Church. If you haven't already read the first 5 ways to destroy your church, you can read them HERE.

But, to summarize:

1. Don't accept new ideas
2. Assume people won't help
3. Force people to help
4. Gossip
5. Backstab

 Now then, on to 6 thru 10... 

6. Embrace exclusiveness

Make sure you use the word "member" a lot. "Oh, we're members"... "you can't do that, you're not a member"... "because I'm a member, I can do this." While I understand it is a wonderful feeling to belong to something, especially those who have a church they are proud to belong to, if you put forth too much of a feeling that your church is exclusive - it's for members only - you're going to lose people, and end up turning people away.

You want to make sure you don't embrace the fact that we're all members of the Church of Christ. Your church is the best, it's the right one, and you are member - and those people over there.... they aren't...

7. Strangers! No! They might steal something.... 

Speaking of "those people over there...", make sure you show that that they aren't welcome. And, that you don't trust them. Keep your eye on them every minute... especially when the offering plate is going around. Make sure they know you're watching... that you think they're going to steal from the plate. Or are going to kidnap one of the young children. Especially watch those that might not look trustworthy (ragged clothes, unkempt hair, etc).

8. Give us all our money!!!

Oh, who doesn't want to run screaming from a church that speaks of money all the time? Scream it from the pulpit. Make a big deal of it in front of new people. If your church gives members envelopes for tracking the offering, make sure all new members are given these envelopes as a "welcome" gift. Those who aren't members yet, but keep coming to your church? Make sure to let them know you disapprove of them getting away from having to pay by not sealing their membership. And a big one - everyone knows offerings are needed to keep a church running. Churches do still have to pay bills and pastors and staff. So, make sure you do not tell people where their money is going. Ignorance is bliss (at least, for those seeking the death of their church).

9. Do not give recognition to those who continuously volunteer and help out at the church...

Have you ever noticed that many churches have a plaque recognizing those people who gave sizable donations to make certain projects happen (maybe they paid for the new pews, or the new addition, or the new high tech high capacity oven), no visible recognition is given to those who clean the church every week, or to those who've taught Sunday School every year for the last 10 years, or who has played the organ every Sunday since they were tall enough to reach the organ keys? Keep this tradition alive. Don't even recognize these people in bulletins, newsletters, or during service. Doing so might keep them around.

10. Put in as much politics as humanly possible....

People just love when church is all about the politics... they love it so much, they'll walk out and never return! Implement as many committees as possible... I mean, there should be committees for the grounds, the building, the women's group, men's group, youth, worship, staff hiring, training, missions, music, Sunday School, and whatever else you can think of.

Now granted, committees themselves aren't bad - they can be very useful tools and can be an encouragement for people to join your church. They may feel they have something they can offer a specific committee. This is why you must make sure it is the same people in all the committees.. or, at least for the most part. Juggle it a bit if you don't want to look too obvious. And be sure there are "gray" areas so arguments can take place - is responsibility for supplies the responsibility of the building committee, the women's group, or the Sunday School committee? Create as much friction as possible within the committees!

Oh, and of course, do not allow any decision to be made right away. If someone brings an idea to the table, make sure to express that it must first go to these 4 committees, and then the council, and must meet the 1297 pages of different committee/council rules and requirements.

And there you have it... 

I hope you've all enjoyed these last 5 ways to kill your Church. I think I'm done (for now anyway), but would love to hear from others anything I might have missed.

How to Grow a Church

The church is a living thing, capable of growth... and equally capable of shriveling up and dying. But what is it that makes a church grow? What makes for a healthy, strong church?

Take a look at your own church - the body of believers you associate with (most often inside the man-made structure) - is it growing? Is it stagnant? Is it wilting and drying up around the edges? I think many churches go through stages where they start to wilt - a wake up call to the people to take better care of the plant.

First, let's go through the basics of what is needed to grow a church... 

 

1. Seed

I think it's agreed upon that to grow any living thing, a seed is required. For me, when I thought seed, I immediately thought "Word of God." Your Christian Church must, before anything else, be built with the best seed available - God's Word.

2. Soil

The soil is the environment within which the seed dwells. This means each of us. We all have different nutrients we bring to the Church. And, it is our relationships and love which keep this soil healthy enough to nurture the seed and allow it to take root.

3. Water

Water is necessary to nourish the soil and the seed. This water is the refresher of God in our lives. It's prayer, and worship. It's songs of praise and reaching out to one another in God's name. It's the sermons preached, and the comfort we give others. It is everything we do individually and as a group that opens our hearts to God and strengthens our souls and allows God and his Word to not only take root, but to allow those roots to grow deep.

What is harmful to growing our Church?

 

4. Miracle grow

I worked for many years for an organic certification company, learning the ins and outs of applying certain chemicals to your fields and plants. These chemicals and synthetic substances do increase productivity for a while... but most are not healthy, and can damage the soil and the plant.

Applying synthetic chemicals to our soil and seed might bring more people in. It may make the church grow faster. But this is a man-made solution - not a Godly one. Miracle Grow in the church comes in the form of hipper music, and shorter and weaker sermons. It comes in the form of more money and "stuff". "Better" and more expensive pews and hymnals. A larger fellowship hall. More "fun". And less love and comfort and prayer. And the more that is applied, the more the soil is affected. People stop caring. They stop reaching out to others. They stop building relationships.

Miracle Grow may not kill your church. But it will produce damaged soil and a withering, unhealthy plant.

If you want your church to grow - get rid of the stuff you're using to force the church to grow faster and bigger. Focusing on the first 3 necessities may not grow the church as fast or as big as you want... but it will create deeper roots and a nourished soil, and a strong healthy plant.

How to Kill Your Church... Steps 1-5

In my previous post, I gave some simple instructions on how to grow a church - seed, soil, water... and avoid the Miracle Grow if you want a healthy, strong, church.

But now, I want to go over some of the ways in which to kill a church. Yes, I could have included these in how to grow a church, but what fun is that?

Therefore, with no further ado, and in no particular order...

How to Kill Your Church: 

 

1. Don't be accepting of new ideas... or even better, pretend you are accepting...

It is one thing to straight out put across "We do not want your ideas. We will not accept them. We will not implement them." New/potential members (or some existing ones) don't like this attitude. But what (in my opinion) will chase people away even faster is something that goes like this:

Member: "We want  your ideas! We're very accepting of new ideas!"
New/potential member: "Great... what if we do...."
Member: "Nope, sorry. We can't do that."

2. Assume people hate service to the church....

I heard it said recently that some of the veteran members of our church are afraid that if they push things on to new/potential members, they'll scare them off. They feel what the did to me was wrong - even though I, and the others who were immediately drawn into the fold, are some of the most active in the church.

So what did they do to me? The day I became a member, as I was leaving the sanctuary, I was snagged my one of the Sunday School teachers asking if I would like to take over teaching. The next day, I was cornered by a friend telling me I was going to be added to a work group and would be responsible for helping keep the church clean, working during funerals, etc. I was approached to help with the mailbox relabeling/upkeep, and to help build a website for the church, and numerous other things.

Yes, I had to say "No" to some of these. But I felt like I belonged. I felt needed. If you want to kill your church, you definitely do not want to be making people feel like this!

3. Assume that because people hate service to the church, you have to force them... 

Now, this may seem in direct opposition of point 2, so let me attempt to clarify. I would have preferred to be given the option to be put on a work group, to clean the church, and to usher, in the same way I was asked to do the other things. Yes, I would have still said yes, but I should have been given the choice. The church might actually be surprised how many people sign up for cleaning or ushering or baking when allowed the option. Of course, trusting in humankind like this? Yeah, that just might promote a growing church... not something you want to do if your goal is church stagnation or death.

4. Gossip! Always!

This really should be at the top of this list. I have heard of more people (particularly women with children) voice this as their reason for leaving. You have a bunch of veteran church-goers, often (but not limited to) older women, who sit in fellowship, not even bothering to whisper "did you hear she's pregnant again? I wonder who the father is this time." Or "oh my, she brought her kids. You'd think she'd be able to control them during service!" Or "his parents don't even bother to come to church - just drop him off for Sunday School. They're so worthless." And the list goes on and on and on of some of the very sad things I've heard uttered, often aimed in the direction of children, in a church setting.

5. Backstab! Being two-faced is a sure-fire church destroyer.

This goes something like this... New person makes a suggestion for a change to something within the church. Other member says "Oh I like that idea. That's great. You're so creative!" And then this person goes and runs off and tells everyone else it's a bad idea.

Or, even better, accompany the backstabbing with a bit of embarrassment. You've told the new person you loved her idea, but that it needs to be run by the pastor. So you all meet... and you bring the pastor your own idea rather than even allowing the new person to put hers on the table. Or, you bring your ideas and make sure you say "well, Jill had an idea... but let's look at these instead" completely dismissing the new person.

This is only the first 5...

 

I have a few more swimming around in my brain, and I would love to hear what others think helps kill the church. Stay tuned for part 2 of this later tonight (I hope), and in the meantime, please comment what else you think should be on this list.


**EDIT** Steps 6-10 are now available! Click here!