Is It Better To Reach One or Thousands?

I'm sure most of you have been told, at least at one point in your life, that it is better to have just one true friend than dozens of fake ones. This is so completely true. I learned this years ago, and it's something I've realized is still true, even once we leave our pre-teen drama years. (ok, so, maybe I'm still in the drama years... God bless personality disorders!)

Is this concept the same when it comes to readers/followers of blogs?

Recently, I have been...
a) angry about my loss of readers
b) jealous of those who have more readers
c) prideful and arrogant because hello! I know what I'm talking about!
4) greedy, wanting more readers and followers.

Hey look! I have 4 of the 7 deadly sins! I suppose we could add in
5) sloth...I truly have been lazy spiritually, thinking I really don't need to focus on that. I need to focus on followers, not following!

So, I win. 5 out of 7 deadly sins. Go me....

Earlier, I wrote about realizing that my blog needs to be about God. It needs to be the Holy Spirit moving within me. As soon as I stop letting it be about that... it's over. And I don't want that. Not because of my blog... if this ends up dying and no one ever reads it, fine. I need to stay on my knees, praying for the Spirit to stay within me, guiding my words and actions. That is what this is all about.

And tonight, I realized something else....

It doesn't matter if I know more or less about how to make a wonderfully effective blog site. It doesn't matter if I have a better or worse following than someone else. It doesn't matter if my site/brand/hashtag brings in the most hashtag references. These are all essentially material things. They are not of God. Focusing on this stuff is idolatry.... for me, at least. Others may be able to do it appropriately. They can keep it from being about themselves, and make it all about God. For me, it just ends up being selfish.

So, I am letting go of being angry and jealous and prideful. No more greed. I would rather have only one reader... one who is moved towards God... than have 1000 readers a day, of which none are touched or moved towards the One who truly matters.

The Wonderful Side of Lust

I remember a little over a year ago, I was seated next to a friend. Her husband came toward us, but his focus was solely on her. There was an intense passion in his gaze as he took her hand in his for just a brief moment. It was obvious the rest of the world had ceased to exist in those short seconds.Within this short gaze, the depth of his love and desire for his wife was evident to all who witnessed.

I remember feeling a stab of envy - not at either of them, but just at the intensity of love and desire they shared. I wonder how many others felt the same - how many others wondered why they didn't have that same intensity in their gaze, or in their spouse's gaze. It isn't that the rest of us didn't have/receive love from our spouses - but as is the case with many marriages, sometimes the sparks temporarily fizzle out, and that intensity just isn't there. Sometimes, some people, never find that intensity.
 
One of the emotions evident in his gaze was his desire for his wife - his lust. Now here is where things get a little quirky... the Bible clearly tells us that lust - even just looking at a woman in lust - is a sin. Is it therefore a sin to lust after your own spouse? It is a sin to desire to take her to bed and do all sorts of naughty things with her?

I asked the question to friends... is there a difference between desire and lust? Is one acceptable and one a sin? And, the answers aren't very clear. So, I'm going to give my take on it (which may or may not be Biblical)...

Desire and lust are essentially the same thing. Yes, it can be argued that lust is a more consuming and covetous feeling, whereas desire is more innocent and is simply a wanting. But in my opinion, this is just a way of rationalizing our human nature when human nature takes over. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says that even looking at a woman in lust is committing adultery. It is a sin.

How many of us, as humans, look at someone and thing "dayam! I wouldn't mind being under the blankets with him!" Is this lust? Desire? A sin? Committing adultery? In my opinion, it's often none of these. It's a simple statement of appreciate for someone else' body. If we actually want to be with this person, then we've moved into desire... and, it's a desire for something we shouldn't have (if we're married and/or the object of our desire is married). If we're laying in bed at night and fantasizing about being under the blankets... then we have lust.

So...

Lust is only a sin when it is aimed at someone to whom we are not married. Lusting after someone not our spouse - sin. Lusting after someone else' spouse - sin. Lusting after someone else' spouse when you are married to someone else - double sin (committing adultery and coveting thy neighbor's spouse.... yup, you're in trouble now...). Lusting after your own husband or wife? Not a sin... and perfectly normal, expected, and good.... provided it is a healthy relationship, and your eyes are still set on God. 

Lust/desire (whatever you want to call it) can be a healthy and great thing. Knowing your spouse desires you can be a very healthy and wonderful thing. Lust in itself is not sin. Misplaced lust is. So, in my opinion, go lust it up....

Anyway, that's just my take on the whole subject. (and yes, I'm still envious).

Sin - Synonymous with Selfishness?

As stated in an earlier post, going into depth on each of the seven deadly sins will have to wait, however, I am not yet prepared to completely leave the topic of sin behind. Therefore, tonight's lesson is on exactly that - Sin.

It was proposed earlier this week to me that sin and selfishness are basically synonymous with each other. I had never before considered this concept. But, if you think about it, it is somewhat similar. For example, take into consideration the seven deadly sins - these are all very obviously linked to selfishness. To conduct yourself in any way matching these sins would definitely be considered to be acting in your own self-interest. Lust? Envy? Greed? Gluttony? These are all wanting something for yourself, whether it be a person, money, food, and whether or not it already belongs to someone else. Sloth? Again, this is self-interest - this is a personal desire to do nothing - to not want to be active physically, mentally, or spiritually. Pride? Pride is egotistical which is in itself selfishness. And wrath? Wrath is generally an anger or hatred towards a person whom has done wrong to you. When this is the case, or perhaps no matter what the case would be to cause wrath, it is still selfishness.

But, what if you are stealing food to feed your children? Is this selfishness? Is this a sin?

What if you kill someone in an attempt to save someone else? Is this selfishness? Is this a sin?

How do you determine when something is a sin and when it isn't? I'm not sure it's always as clear cut as one would think. How many times have you heard or said the expressions "It's the thought that counts" or "you had good intention"? In regards to sin and selfishness being synonymous, I think this expression matters a great deal. If you are stealing food to help someone else survive, you are stealing with a good intention, therefore, it is not selfish and is not a sin. The law might disagree with this, however. And, I guess it could be argued that you were still acting in selfishness - you decided that your children (or whoever it is you're helping to survive) is more important than the person you are still from. Therefore, it is selfish in a sense.

But, moving along...

 

 The above image makes sense, and I don't think most of us would argue with any of these points here. But the one on this image that I think we often overlook is self-pity. This category points out one small contradiction. I grew up being taught that someone else always has it worse than I do, and therefore I should not feel pity for myself. Now just like the other categories, just because I was taught this doesn't mean I have always followed this. But, the teaching was still there. And so I learned not to discuss this depression, and not to seek help. Of course, there were other reasons behind my desire to not speak out, but one reason was that there are people out there who have it worse. 

But now, I have people telling me it is ok to feel depressed, and to have a bit of a pity party. It is acceptable to feel sorry for myself. But it is from these same people where I hear that selfishness is a sin. So which is it? 

Are sin and selfishness synonymous with each other - or only sometimes? It's an interesting question and concept. But then again, I find the whole concept of sin to be rather interesting... perhaps because I am a sinner.

7 Deadly Sins / 7 Virtues

One of my all-time favorite movies is Se7en with Morgan Freeman. For those who haven't seen it yet, but enjoy a good suspense flick, this is definitely one to see. The movie deals with the seven deadly sins - the killer going after people who are guilty of these sins.

The seven deadly sins was a list created as a way of classifying sins. The list went through a few stages (at one point there were 8, and a few were renamed to be more inclusive and/or just make more sense), and at one point had a severity attached. While most theologians no longer consider this severity, here is the list, from least severe to most severe (per the latest severity rating before it was deemed non-applicable):

• Lust
• Gluttony
• Greed
• Sloth
• Wrath
• Envy
• Pride

Throughout the upcoming weeks, I will delve into each of these a bit more thoroughly. However, I do want to touch on this severity rating. Some may find it strange to find pride to be the most severe of the sins. But if you really think about it, pride is what leads to so many other sins. Envy is also the root of many other sins. The least severe of them all is lust - which is probably a good thing for me considering the most recent "which of the 7 deadly sins fit you the most" quiz I took (actually, 2 of them), showed that lust was the only sin I scored high in. This isn't too surprising for me. I think we all have a little lust in our loins, in addition to the rest of these sins finding their way into our lives at one point or another.

In contrast to these sins, there are also 7 virtues. These virtues are what we should be constantly aiming for, and in doing so, will be less likely to commit the sins. These virtues (in the same order as the sins so it's easier to see which is the virtue that is in contrast to the sin) are:

• Chastity
• Temperance
• Charity
• Diligence
• Patience
• Kindness
• Humility

As with the sins, I will also describe these virtues more in depth in the weeks to pass. 

But for now, I shall leave you all (these pain killers are kicking my ass and I can't hold a thought long enough to finish writing this). Be on the lookout for sermons on each of the deadly sins, and the virtues.