Do Outsiders See Your Church As Greedy? (The answer might shock you...)

Money. It always comes down to money. And, the church is no different. I can't count how many times people have used money as the reason they don't attend church - "all the church is interested in is taking my money."

Well, before I address that, and the subject of this post, let me state one point everyone must recognize:

Churches need  money 

I'm talking your average, ordinary, every day type of church. They need money. They have to pay bills (yup, electric company charges the church, too. Imagine that). They have to pay the pastor (sorry folks, the dude does need to eat...). They need to purchase supplies and who knows what all just to keep the church functioning.

And, to be honest, I think most people understand this. When they complain that the church is only interested in money, it isn't that they don't recognize the needs of the church (although, they may not recognize the extent of the needs). It's that they do recognize the greediness of the church.

The Giving and the Greedy

A young mother runs out of milk to feed her child. She goes to a neighbor who isn't too well off financially, but hopefully has just a few ounces to spare. The neighbor gives her a gallon of milk. The young mother insists she'll pay the neighbor back. As the days move on, the neighbor makes no mention again of the borrowed milk.

Take the same story, except....

The neighbor gives her the milk, and the young mother insists she'll pay the neighbor back. The next time the neighbor sees the young mother, he reminds her of her debt. And reminds her the next time. And the next.

I'm sure you've all met people of both types - the one who gives when she's able and doesn't expect to be paid back; and the one who gives (often reluctantly) but consistently reminds you that you're in her debt. The one who gives, and the one who expects things to be given.

One person can make a Church look greedy

The stories above can somewhat be applied to churches as well. The difference, however, is that a church is made up of several individuals; and, depending on the position/popularity/status of the person, it often takes just one person within that church to make the entire church seem greedy.

That's right - just one person can make both Church members and outsiders see your Church  as greedy.

1) Mandatory voluntary donations

Yes, you read that right. Mandatory voluntary donations.

Donating money to the church is a common practice. And, it is a voluntary practice. Some people have the money to gift to the Church, and some do not. And this must be acceptable to the pastor and all who work within the church. And, unfortunately, this is not always the case.

"You get the use of the fellowship hall free because you're a member, but you are expected to make a donation." This is something I actually heard said by another member of the Church. The person quickly amended the statement to "Well, you don't have to... but everyone does."

Through implication and attitude, this one person managed to make the church appear so greedy that it mandates donations. This person makes the Church seem like a place that consistently expects money from those who attend or are members.

2) Mentions offering amounts, or hints at the inadequacy of amounts

"Since you can't put a lot of money in the offering plate, you can use this as your way of contributing."

Again, that's a statement I have actually heard. The "you can use this" was referring to a service the person was offering the Church without pay. It wasn't to get out of having to give an offering, but rather as a way of fulfilling a need within the Church.

No one... not one single person... within a church should mention what a person gives each week. It shouldn't be implied they give too little (or too much). It shouldn't be implied that the person should be giving more. It should not be stated to the person him/herself, and definitely should not be mentioned to anyone else.

People give what they can, when they can.

3) Doesn't acknowledge non-monetary contributions

Some people can't afford much financially, so they contribute in other ways. Some just love to contribute in non-monetary ways. These people volunteer whenever they can. They teach Sunday School. They do the newsletter, or website, or bulletins without pay. They mow the lawn, or shovel the sidewalk without pay.

And, if this service gets any acknowledgement, it's usually in a negative tone, as if to say this person doesn't want to give the church money and therefore is doing something else that isn't worth the missing offering.

Non-monetary contributions are not something to be ignored. They are not merely so someone doesn't have to give the church money. True, the Church needs money to pay the bills. But, without the loving contributions of time and service, the Church would also be paying for teachers, janitors, marketing specialists/webmasters, etc.

What can be done... and is it necessary? 

First, let me answer the "Is it necessary" question. Yes. Emphatically, Yes! One bad egg spoils the bunch. Even just one person (again, depending on who this person is within the society and/or Church) can make an entire Church seem greedy and petty.

As for what can be done? I don't have the answers. The only thing I can think of is that if you hear someone starting to act this way, either correct them or walk away. Don't allow them an audience.

Can you think of how to stop the one bad egg from spoiling the bunch?

Is It Better To Reach One or Thousands?

I'm sure most of you have been told, at least at one point in your life, that it is better to have just one true friend than dozens of fake ones. This is so completely true. I learned this years ago, and it's something I've realized is still true, even once we leave our pre-teen drama years. (ok, so, maybe I'm still in the drama years... God bless personality disorders!)

Is this concept the same when it comes to readers/followers of blogs?

Recently, I have been...
a) angry about my loss of readers
b) jealous of those who have more readers
c) prideful and arrogant because hello! I know what I'm talking about!
4) greedy, wanting more readers and followers.

Hey look! I have 4 of the 7 deadly sins! I suppose we could add in
5) sloth...I truly have been lazy spiritually, thinking I really don't need to focus on that. I need to focus on followers, not following!

So, I win. 5 out of 7 deadly sins. Go me....

Earlier, I wrote about realizing that my blog needs to be about God. It needs to be the Holy Spirit moving within me. As soon as I stop letting it be about that... it's over. And I don't want that. Not because of my blog... if this ends up dying and no one ever reads it, fine. I need to stay on my knees, praying for the Spirit to stay within me, guiding my words and actions. That is what this is all about.

And tonight, I realized something else....

It doesn't matter if I know more or less about how to make a wonderfully effective blog site. It doesn't matter if I have a better or worse following than someone else. It doesn't matter if my site/brand/hashtag brings in the most hashtag references. These are all essentially material things. They are not of God. Focusing on this stuff is idolatry.... for me, at least. Others may be able to do it appropriately. They can keep it from being about themselves, and make it all about God. For me, it just ends up being selfish.

So, I am letting go of being angry and jealous and prideful. No more greed. I would rather have only one reader... one who is moved towards God... than have 1000 readers a day, of which none are touched or moved towards the One who truly matters.

Sin - Synonymous with Selfishness?

As stated in an earlier post, going into depth on each of the seven deadly sins will have to wait, however, I am not yet prepared to completely leave the topic of sin behind. Therefore, tonight's lesson is on exactly that - Sin.

It was proposed earlier this week to me that sin and selfishness are basically synonymous with each other. I had never before considered this concept. But, if you think about it, it is somewhat similar. For example, take into consideration the seven deadly sins - these are all very obviously linked to selfishness. To conduct yourself in any way matching these sins would definitely be considered to be acting in your own self-interest. Lust? Envy? Greed? Gluttony? These are all wanting something for yourself, whether it be a person, money, food, and whether or not it already belongs to someone else. Sloth? Again, this is self-interest - this is a personal desire to do nothing - to not want to be active physically, mentally, or spiritually. Pride? Pride is egotistical which is in itself selfishness. And wrath? Wrath is generally an anger or hatred towards a person whom has done wrong to you. When this is the case, or perhaps no matter what the case would be to cause wrath, it is still selfishness.

But, what if you are stealing food to feed your children? Is this selfishness? Is this a sin?

What if you kill someone in an attempt to save someone else? Is this selfishness? Is this a sin?

How do you determine when something is a sin and when it isn't? I'm not sure it's always as clear cut as one would think. How many times have you heard or said the expressions "It's the thought that counts" or "you had good intention"? In regards to sin and selfishness being synonymous, I think this expression matters a great deal. If you are stealing food to help someone else survive, you are stealing with a good intention, therefore, it is not selfish and is not a sin. The law might disagree with this, however. And, I guess it could be argued that you were still acting in selfishness - you decided that your children (or whoever it is you're helping to survive) is more important than the person you are still from. Therefore, it is selfish in a sense.

But, moving along...

 

 The above image makes sense, and I don't think most of us would argue with any of these points here. But the one on this image that I think we often overlook is self-pity. This category points out one small contradiction. I grew up being taught that someone else always has it worse than I do, and therefore I should not feel pity for myself. Now just like the other categories, just because I was taught this doesn't mean I have always followed this. But, the teaching was still there. And so I learned not to discuss this depression, and not to seek help. Of course, there were other reasons behind my desire to not speak out, but one reason was that there are people out there who have it worse. 

But now, I have people telling me it is ok to feel depressed, and to have a bit of a pity party. It is acceptable to feel sorry for myself. But it is from these same people where I hear that selfishness is a sin. So which is it? 

Are sin and selfishness synonymous with each other - or only sometimes? It's an interesting question and concept. But then again, I find the whole concept of sin to be rather interesting... perhaps because I am a sinner.

7 Deadly Sins / 7 Virtues

One of my all-time favorite movies is Se7en with Morgan Freeman. For those who haven't seen it yet, but enjoy a good suspense flick, this is definitely one to see. The movie deals with the seven deadly sins - the killer going after people who are guilty of these sins.

The seven deadly sins was a list created as a way of classifying sins. The list went through a few stages (at one point there were 8, and a few were renamed to be more inclusive and/or just make more sense), and at one point had a severity attached. While most theologians no longer consider this severity, here is the list, from least severe to most severe (per the latest severity rating before it was deemed non-applicable):

• Lust
• Gluttony
• Greed
• Sloth
• Wrath
• Envy
• Pride

Throughout the upcoming weeks, I will delve into each of these a bit more thoroughly. However, I do want to touch on this severity rating. Some may find it strange to find pride to be the most severe of the sins. But if you really think about it, pride is what leads to so many other sins. Envy is also the root of many other sins. The least severe of them all is lust - which is probably a good thing for me considering the most recent "which of the 7 deadly sins fit you the most" quiz I took (actually, 2 of them), showed that lust was the only sin I scored high in. This isn't too surprising for me. I think we all have a little lust in our loins, in addition to the rest of these sins finding their way into our lives at one point or another.

In contrast to these sins, there are also 7 virtues. These virtues are what we should be constantly aiming for, and in doing so, will be less likely to commit the sins. These virtues (in the same order as the sins so it's easier to see which is the virtue that is in contrast to the sin) are:

• Chastity
• Temperance
• Charity
• Diligence
• Patience
• Kindness
• Humility

As with the sins, I will also describe these virtues more in depth in the weeks to pass. 

But for now, I shall leave you all (these pain killers are kicking my ass and I can't hold a thought long enough to finish writing this). Be on the lookout for sermons on each of the deadly sins, and the virtues.