If Satan is Responsible, Why Take it Out on God

The question was posed the other day: "Why do people get mad at God? Wouldn't it make more sense to get mad at Satan, as he's responsible for all the bad stuff that happens?"

Well first, I have to admit I do not fully agree with the theology that Satan is responsible for all the bad stuff - but, this is a topic for another day. For the purposes of this post, we'll assume that yes, Satan is responsible.

So, if Satan is responsible, why do we take it out on God? Why do we get angry with God?

The answer is actually quite simple...

Expectations of God; Expectations of Satan

We expect Satan to cause problems. We expect him to send us temptations. We expect him to cause loved ones to get sick and die (again, remember, for the purposes of this post, we're blaming Satan for everything).

But God? Our loving Father? Our protector and comforter? The Great Physician? The Author of Peace? We expect God to protect us and our loved ones.

I've known children who were molested or raped by a family member, or close friend of their parents' - and often they blame their parents (or, the non-offending parent). The parent was supposed to protect the child. Even myself, when my dad first got married and my step-mom started abusing me - I blamed my dad. He was supposed to protect me.

Misplaced Anger

Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that getting angry with God is necessarily a good thing. Nor am I saying that this anger isn't misplaced. I'm only saying that it is understandable. The One who is supposed to love us and protect us has failed to meet that expectation. Regardless of the reason (He has a plan; He's trying to help us grow from our suffering; etc), He still failed us. Who wouldn't be mad at that?

But, while this anger is understandable, we do still need to stop and recognize that perhaps God isn't the one we should be angry with. Perhaps it's just something we need to accept is no one's fault (i.e. someone dying from illness). Perhaps it's an abuser. Perhaps it's Satan. Perhaps it's our own selves.

No matter who it is, we need to forgive, and give that anger to God in a healthy way.


God bless!

Getting Angry at God

Repeat after me...

I Am Only Human

I am only human. Why did we just say this? Because, I think we tend to forget this at times.

When we're angry at our spouse, or yell at our children, we don't get too down ourselves. We recognize that we're only human. When we hurt someone we care about, again we realize we're only human. When we question the actions of a friend, we realize we're only human. So why is it we ignore this fact of being human when it comes to being angry at God?

We believe we're not supposed to get mad at God. We believe we're supposed to be superhuman, or godlike, when it comes to our relationship with him. We believe we're supposed to ignore our humanness.

This is the first reason why it is ok to be angry with God - because we're only human. We cannot and should not have the unrealistic expectation that we should somehow be more than human.

God Says It's Ok

In Ephesians 4, verse 26, we're told: "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger."  God understands we are human, with human emotions. He created us after all. And He knows that there is no way we can understand why He does what He does in our lives. And He knows that this lack of knowledge will frustrate us. If He didn't know this, I don't think the words "Trust in the Lord" would have had to be repeated so often in the Bible (I found one source that said some version of "trust in Him" [depending on the Bible translation] appears anywhere from 150 to 200 times). We consistently need that reminder that we should trust Him... but this does not mean we are not allowed to be angry.

Be angry. He gives us permission. However, we're also given some restrictions to that anger. We're not to sin in our anger. And we're not to let the sun go down with that anger still within us.

We Need to Say "God, I'm Angry!"

As I stated above, we're not to let the sun go down on our anger. This means we need to work through our anger. Working through our anger doesn't mean stuffing it, suppressing it, or ignoring it. Think about your relationship with your spouse, or significant other. When you get angry with each other, suppressing that anger often leads to more anger and hurt in the long run. However, if you can tell your spouse, "Hey, you refusing to help out around the house today made me angry" - when you're able to voice how you feel - then you can both work together to fix the problem, or at least get that anger out of you. It frees your heart to forgive and be forgiven (ever try to forgive someone when we're still angry as heck at the person? Or ask for forgiveness from them when you're still seething?)

It's no different with God. When we recognize that we're angry with God, we need to be honest with Him. We need to reach out to Him with our raw emotions, trusting that He will understand. We need to say "Look God, I'm really pissed at you." Owning up to that anger and saying it to Him actually strengthens your relationship with God. It frees you to be able to have an honest conversation with Him, allowing Him to heal and forgive you.

You've Probably Been Angry with Him (Or Still Are), and He Knows This

I've often found that those who say we should not be angry with God are angry with Him... they just don't realize it. They start to get angry, and believe they cannot direct that anger at their Creator, so they stuff it down deep. They repeat the mantras of trusting in God to themselves to cover up that anger. They hide that anger from themselves because they believe it is a sin to be angry with God.

The problem with this, however, is that God already knows what's in your heart - including the things you try to bury. And additionally, by stuffing it all down and hiding it, you're basically saying you don't trust in God's forgiving and loving nature.

You're better off just facing that anger head-on, telling God how you feel, vent a little even (I've yelled at Him on numerous occasions), then apologize and ask for forgiveness, and trust in His unending grace, mercy, and love.

God bless!

Bible Study Pisses Me Off

As most of you know, I absolutely love my women's Bible Study. But, this month, I'm finding I don't like it anymore. It's making me face the fact that I'm not perfect. Ever think to yourself, "I'm glad I don't have that problem", or "I'm glad I'm not like that"? Well, this study we're doing now is making me hang my head and realize "ok... yeah... maybe I'm a little (a lot) like that...." And it's really making me angry.

Which, is a bit ironic. The study is on anger.

Before we started this book, I would have said - with complete sincerity - I do not have an anger problem (ok yes, there may be a couple people reading this right now who just choked on their coffee... sorry...). Yes, I do get angry at times. But I don't punch people, or start screaming. I don't go off on people. I handle my anger pretty well.

Or, so I thought. It turns out, stuffing all that anger inside you, and/or getting angry with yourself and/or leaking it onto those who didn't do anything, is still an anger issue. And, the more we delve into this study - which, so far has mostly been how to recognize your anger, how you typically deal with it, and what the root cause of it is - I'm realizing that I'm a very angry person. And, mostly, I'm very angry at me. Well, and God... but with God I can voice that (stay tuned for my next post which will be about yelling at God). But with myself? It's not so easy to say "Brandi, I am really pissed at you."

And yet, even though I don't voice it usually, I am very angry with myself. I'm mad at myself for letting myself get raped. I'm mad at myself for not doing more to stop the abuse I (and my siblings) went through. I'm mad at myself for leaving my siblings in that abusive home. And the list goes on.

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I find it actually relatively easy to forgive others than forgiving myself. 

Anyway, I had a lot more to say on this topic that isn't just so much me venting on a screen... but my brain fails me now. So... deal with it. :)

God bless

Violence is (Usually) Not the Answer

For the past week or so, the news has been plagued with reports of yet another NFL player arrested/charged with domestic or child abuse. My Facebook news feed is inundated with these reports. And while it sickens me to read this reports, or to even see the headlines of them, I am also grateful in a way...

This issue is in no way limited to the NFL. Football players, athletes of any sort, celebrities - these are not the only people who abuse their significant others or children. However, while the issue is not reserved for NFL players, the subject is gaining widespread media attention because of their celebratory status. And this is not a bad thing. Abuse is something that should be talked about. That being said, allow me to talk about it yet again...

Spare the Rod - A Biblical Approach to Discipline?

What bothers me the most about the stories of child abuse is that the perpetrator and his/her supporters often quote the Bible.

 Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them. (Proverbs 13:24)

 Yes, at face value, this verse does appear to say it's okay to hit your child. God obviously is saying so. Our own Father gives us permission. But is this verse speaking of a literal rod? Are we being told that it's acceptable, and even required, to beat our children with a rod, staff, stick, paddle, etc?

Or, perhaps, we're being told we are to use authority with our children. We are to teach them right from wrong. We are to guide their behavior, teaching them to make wise decisions, and that wrong decisions have consequences. I don't think anyone would argue that we, as parents, should do doing this teaching. But this authority does not have to come with physical violence. In fact, it shouldn't come with physical violence.

If You Beat Them, They Will not Die (is God a liar?)

Let's look at another typical Bible verse that is used to defend hitting a defenseless child:

Do not withhold discipline from your children; if you beat them with a rod, they will not die. (Proverbs 23:13)

 According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway (full citation and link to the statistics article is at the end of this post), an average of four children die daily in the US from child abuse and neglect. Nearly half of these (44.3%) are from physical abuse. That is approximately two children daily who are dying because a parent or guardian has chosen to beat their child. And this is just in the United States. Two children whose parents followed the literal translation of Proverbs 13 and 23, dying each day because of this.

So did God lie in the Bible? It specifically states the child will not die.

Or did God not mean it to be taken in such a literal form? Was God simply instructing us to disciple our children in the ways of the Lord?

Did We Forget the Lessons on Violence?

Do not envy the violent and do not choose any of their ways (Proverbs 3:31)

Now the works of the flesh are obvious: ... enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, ... and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)

The Lord tests the righteous and the wicked, and his soul hates the lover of violence. (Psalm 11:5)

Hitting a child, or anyone, is violence. And it's teaching violence. It is causing a child to stumble. It is often done in anger - another thing we are to be beware of and control. And instead we're teaching our children it is okay to use your hands/fists/objects to express your anger.

Now, I probably should clarify here, that while I do not think spanking is the best option, those who spank open-handed, on the bottom, not in anger, and only rarely (for those "big" transgressions children sometimes do), are not necessarily wrong or a child abuser. However, it is my experience that most parents who do spank do so in anger, for nearly every offense. And I still believe that it is a violent method of parenting which does teach a child to handle problems with violence.

We've Learned Violence Isn't Appropriate Elsewhere...

We recognize that it is not acceptable to beat those who work for us. Most of us recognize we are not to beat parents, wives, husbands, friends, strangers. But when it comes to our own children? So many people still believe that parents, teachers, ministers, etc should have the right to raise a hand (or a rod) to those who cannot defend themselves.

Please, when you're angry because your child has done something wrong (or, when you're just angry in general), walk away. Calm down. Discipline yourself in controlling your anger before you decide to teach your child what they've done wrong. An angry parent will scare a child. A calm, loving parent will teach a child.

God bless!


Reference:
Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2014).
Child abuseand neglect fatalities 2012: Statistics and interventions.
Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services, Children’s Bureau.

All Bible Verses are from the New Revised Standard Version

Maybe It's a Me Thing

Maybe it's just a me thing... 

When I was a preteen/teenager, I didn't deal well with my own high emotions (and those who know me, I hear you thinking "you still don't". Knock it off and keep reading...). Anger, hurt, rejection, fear... it was too much for me to handle. And so I took it out on things - usually trees. I'd punch them until the pain and anger subsided.

At times, and often subconsciously, I'd also strike out at people. Not physically, but emotionally/verbally. And throughout my life, I've often also found myself striking out at God. 

In my last post, I talked about how it's okay to question God and be angry with Him. And I do believe this.  While yes, the Bible does warn us about anger, anger is a natural emotion. We all feel it. We all find ways to express it. And this is okay, as long as you're not hurting anyone. Which brings me to my point...

Who are we really trying to hurt? 

When I punch a tree, the tree doesn't feel it. The tree can take it. But me? My knuckles end up scraped and hurting.

When I figuratively/emotionally punch a person, I choose someone whom I know won't feel it. I choose someone I know can take it. But me? Guilt, fear, and loneliness often follow.

When I strike out at God, it doesn't faze Him. He's God. He can take it. But me? With each attack on God, I find myself slipping further away from Him.

I choose to strike out when I know the only thing being hurt is myself.

Self-loathing = Pride?

I used to get irritated by people who were so full of pride in themselves. Didn't they know that pride is a sin? It's selfish, self-centered, and just plain annoying. Thank God I wasn't like that.

Instead, I'm a horrible person. I'm bad. I'm a sinner. I can never be good enough. I can never do enough good. I hate who I am. I hate how I am. I deserve the pain I inflict on myself. I... I... I...

am selfish and self-centered (and probably just plain annoying).

The point of this post...

There isn't one. It's just a personal rambling because I realized that the things, people and God I beat on don't feel it. They don't care. All I'm doing is hurting myself and driving myself further into my own little world of isolation, and driving myself further from God.

It's a me thing.

God has a Plan My A$$

A parent gets cancer.
A child gets pregnant.
A spouse gets sicker.
A self drowns in depression.
A loved one dies.
A couple drown in debt.

But it's ok! Just hold on. God knows what's He's doing. He has a plan. All your torment and suffering and worry and grief are part of this plan.

Comforting words, aren't they?

Just have more faith. Just trust in God's will. Just keep holding on. Just pray more. Just get more people to pray. It'll all be okay.

Yup, sure. Thanks for the advice.

Have you ever felt this way? You hear the beautiful words of comfort from friends and loved ones. They tell you they're praying for you. You know they're praying for you. But you can't help but think...

"God has a plan, my ass!"

Yup, that's right, I said it. And call me whatever you want for saying/thinking it, but I'd say everyone whom has suffered one hardship after another has felt this way - even if only for a very brief moment before they smacked themselves upside the head for such a horrific thought. Before the guilt settles in for the lack of faith in, and unwavering love for, God.

I truly am glad we have such a loving and forgiving God. With how many times I have questioned, and still question, God's ability to plan... I know I am still a beloved child of His. Granted, He'd probably like to ground me to my room or wash my mouth out with soap for my distrust, disrespect and disobedience. But, He loves me all the same - or so a trusted friend of mine keeps telling me. Of course, I also often question this friend... probably more often than I question God. But, I digress...

We all go through hard times... We all question God

At some point in all our lives, we're going to go through rough patches. Sometimes we have a "lucky" life, and these hard times aren't too serious (although, as most can probably attest, it isn't until after the rough patch that we recognize it wasn't too horrible). Sometimes we aren't so lucky, and we're plagued with something more serious, or a series of rough moments. Sometimes our way is paved with rocky terrain for miles... or for the entire trip.

During these rocky miles, we often find ourselves starting out by clinging to our faith. We pray fervently. We hold onto those offering prayers. We seek comfort and peace in the Lord. But eventually, especially when the road remains tough, and we've stumbled and skinned our knees repeatedly, we question God. We feel as though we're losing faith. All those sentiments that brought us comfort now make us scoff.

Something as beautiful as the Footprints in the Sand poem (you know... the one where the guy notices only one set of footprints during rough patches in his life, and the Lord tells him that's when He carried him?) becomes a mockery in our own minds. I mean, c'mon... He's God. He shouldn't have to carry us - He should be able to wave His magic wand and make the hard times go away all together.

It's Okay!

I've written on this topic before, and probably will again. Why? Because many people still say it is wrong to question God. It is wrong to be angry with Him. It is a sin that will send us to hell.

And I say - it's okay! God is tough. He can handle a little anger thrown His way. He can handle a lot of anger thrown His way. He can handle the cursing and biting remarks - the distrust, disrespect, and disobedience.

And, I think it's healthy. It's our way of dealing with life when life gets unbearable. It's our way of coping in a world full of pain and anguish and evil.

And in the end, when the terrain starts to even out again, we often find ourselves closer to God. So go for it - yell at God for a while. And then... when you're feeling a bit better... embrace Him back, as He has been embracing you the whole time.

Peace and comfort to you all..

The (not so) Evil of Emotions

How are you feeling today?

As a child, I hated emotions. I tried to cut all of them out (including the good ones). Depression and anger tended to hang around a lot, though. We often had family therapists come into our home. One, in particular, I despised. He'd come over once a week and immediately pull out a poster with a bunch of faces displaying different emotions. "So Brandi, how are you feeling today?" My response was generally "I'm pissed off!" to which he'd ask why. My answer was simple, but always formed as a question - "Because you're here?" I hated therapy sessions with him. I hated him. And I truly hated that stupid poster. He'd always give some "it's ok to be angry. Let's talk about it," reply, which I hated.

There is very little that is more infuriating then expressing complete anger at someone and having them say "I understand you're angry with me. That's ok," in that calm tone. It's even more infuriating when you know that what comes next is this person trying to make you see that you shouldn't be angry. Anger is bad.

Emotions are evil

How many times, just in the past week, have you seen memes or statuses online that say something like this:

- it's wrong to fear
- love isn't an emotion
- anger is a sin
- depression is a lack of spirituality?

If you're anything like me (i.e. online 90% of the day), you see several of these a day. It seems to be a common belief that we are not supposed to be emotional creatures - emotions are a product of sin and/or a cause of sin. God does not want us to be emotional. God doesn't want us to fear (unless of course we're fearing Him... which is a whole other topic). He doesn't want us to love with our hearts. Anger is murder (ok so yes, this one has a biblical reference to it, but... well.... just keep reading...). And depression? No! No! No! There is absolutely no way a real Christian would feel this.

If you're anything like me, these memes, statuses and comments drive you nuts.

Even God is Emotional!

I'm sorry - but just because I believe in God and follow Christ doesn't mean I don't feel emotions. Sometimes, very strong emotions. And, just because I feel these strong emotions does not mean I am not filled with the Holy Spirit. Emotions are very much a part of us. Even God has emotions.

Anger, love, jealousy, grief, joy - God displayed all these emotions (and probably others) at various times within the Bible. The Bible also states that we were made in His image. Maybe I'm completely off base with my thinking here... but it just doesn't make sense to say He has emotions, and we're created in His image, but emotions are brought on by sin.

This doesn't mean emotions can't be bad...

The true bad of emotions

1. Making blanket statements about emotions being wrong, is wrong. 

This is especially true when told to a child. We tell our boys that they're acting like a girl if they cry. We criticize girls when they get moody. We tell our children they aren't supposed to get angry or jealous. There's something wrong with them if they're depressed. Basically - we're telling people it's bad to be human. We're shaming (another emotion) people into not feeling emotions. Which, of course, will eventually create a lot of angry, depressed people. Yup. That works. Almost.

And by the way, if you take that a step further (or step back) to the concept that we're created in God's image... we're basically telling God He's wrong.

2. Emotions to an extreme have the potential of being bad (and just really aren't fun)

Anger left unchecked leads to broken relationships at best, and murder at worst. Or, perhaps it's best to say that anger left unchecked leads to murder (whether murder of the relationship (including a relationship with God), or physical murder of the person(s)).

Depression left unchecked can lead to a broken relationship with God, or others, or suicide. Jealousy can lead to anger and/or depression. Even joy to an extreme or love for the wrong things/in the wrong way can be bad.

How do we keep emotions from being bad? 

The trick isn't to kill emotions. It isn't to lump all emotions into the category "bad" and turn all humans into Vulcans (although Spock is a cool character in Star Trek - could you image a world of only Spocks?). What we should be doing is teaching our children how to deal with emotions. We should be teaching ourselves how to deal with emotions.

How do we do this? Heck if I know... I tend to be overly emotional, and struggle daily to keep my emotions from running amok. But, I will attempt to cover what I've learned in another article. Until then, if anyone has anything they want to share on how they keep their emotions from overflowing too much - or just flat out wants to disagree with me on my notion that it isn't wrong to feel fear, anger, love, joy, grief, etc - please comment.

God bless!

Let it Crumble - Hell, Let it Burn - to the Ground

We take a break from our irregularly scheduled programming of the Condemned House series to bring you this little rant...

I've been discussing how we must rebuild our hearts - how we must learn to trust both in God and man; how we must tear down the pseudo-walls fear has built - so we can grow in Christ, and be healthier, loving children of God.

But one thing that I failed to mention - though did not fail to recognize - is that these walls were built for a reason. This inability (or lack of desire) to trust came about for a reason.

The one thing I have been preaching time and again in my blog posts is that love does not hurt. And, I stand beside the belief that it should not hurt. But the truth of the matter is that it does. Or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that people continue to hurt others in the name of love.

It's ok to physically or emotionally harm another person... so long as you do so out of love. And so long as people continue pushing this lie, the walls continue to stand erect around my heart. So long as supposed loved ones continue pushing this lie, the foundation of trust can never stand strong.

We're to protect those we care about. We're to lay down our own life for those we love. But who truly does this? Who truly loves another to protect that person? Is it truly so much easier to side with those who are causing harm? Is it truly so much easier to smack someone down?

How dare you claim love when you're part of the problem! How dare you say you care when all you can do is sling insults and stand back watching as another beats someone to the ground!

This love that people toss around is a lie. It is filled with abuse, and hurt, and pain. Is it truly any wonder we continue to reside in condemned homes? It it any wonder I hide in a locked, walled-off room, alone with just my silly ideals of how love should be?

Yes, I am passionate on the subjects of love and abuse - and how the two can never live together. If this makes me a mean person, or a stupid person, or silly, or whatever insults you want to say... fine. I'll stay in my little locked away room, the ground crumbling beneath me, until the world recognizes what Godly love truly is. Hell, maybe I'll set the damn thing on fire and let my silly, stupid ideals burn, along with me.

Maybe I'll let you all win.

The Condemned House - A Crumbling Foundation of Trust

If you haven't already read the first part of "The Condemned House" please do so.  While it doesn't say much, it does explain what I mean by a condemned house...

Now then, assuming you've read the first part (or chose not to)...

First, allow me to state upfront that yes, I do realize Christ should be the foundation on which we stand. I am in no way attempting to say otherwise. However, this post - as all of these in the Condemned House series - is about the state of our own hearts, not only in regard to God/spirituality, but more-so in regards to living healthy lives with healthy relationships in a not-so-healthy environment the world we live in provides. This series deals with the traits we must embrace, and those we must kick out the door, to reach that goal.

A Valid Reason for Distrust

A year and a half ago, I met with a pastor. I didn't know why, or what I needed to talk about. I only knew I needed to talk to someone. One of the first things he said to me as I fidgeted uncomfortably in the chair was "you don't trust me, do you?" He was quite insightful - I didn't trust him. I didn't trust most people.

At that point in my life, I had already recognized my heart needed that condemned sign on it. I had already recognized that I had severe trust issues. But, I didn't see trust issues as much of a problem. I had valid reasons for my lack of trust, as I'm sure most of you with trust issues do. Abandonment, abuse, betrayal - by those who are supposed to care for us...

Why on heaven or earth would we open ourselves up to those possibilities again?

And Yet Another Valid Reason... Maybe

For a few months, this pastor let me cry, let me talk, let me open up. He kept claiming trust was important. And, I started to believe him, and trust him. I started to feel as if my heart were being built up again. I had allowed someone in. And through him and his teaching and guidance, I had allowed God to start working on my heart...on my condemned house. And then this pastor/trusted friend left.

This perceived betrayal put my heart right back in the condition it had been in. The foundation crumbled at my feet. Anger... no... outright hatred... filled my heart. I was crushed. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to scream. I wanted to crawl back behind the boarded up doors and windows and barbed wire fences.

A Crumbling Foundation of Trust

But... this friend shocked me. He didn't leave. Physically, yes, he took a call far from my little town. But he made himself available when I needed a friend. And he put up with a lot of abuse from me as I struck out at him for his betrayal. And somehow through it all, I recognized that he'd been right the whole time - I needed to trust. 

My crumbling foundation was because of that lack of trust. By refusing to let people in... I also reflected that behavior on God, refusing to allow Him to fix up my broken, run-down, unlovable and distrusting heart. 

Rebuild the Foundation of Trust!

Trust is an essential part of healing our hearts. We must trust in God - in His unending love for us; in His miraculous ability to heal a heart as condemned as ours; and in His desire to do that healing. 

But equally, we must trust in His servants - in those He sends to us to help with that healing. We must trust in friends and family and spiritual leaders. We must trust in the guidance followers of God give us. 

Does this mean we won't be hurt? Does this mean that trust won't be betrayed at some point, by mankind? Of course not. We're sinful beings and we will break trust and have our trust broken. But we must continue to allow ourselves to be vulnerable at times, with those people who do care. The more we block ourselves off from trusting others, the more we also block ourselves off from God and all the wonders He can do with rebuilding our broken hearts. 

May God strengthen your ability to heal from betrayals, and rebuild your ability to trust. And may you all find the courage and strength to trust in others and in our Lord. 

God bless!

Is It Better To Reach One or Thousands?

I'm sure most of you have been told, at least at one point in your life, that it is better to have just one true friend than dozens of fake ones. This is so completely true. I learned this years ago, and it's something I've realized is still true, even once we leave our pre-teen drama years. (ok, so, maybe I'm still in the drama years... God bless personality disorders!)

Is this concept the same when it comes to readers/followers of blogs?

Recently, I have been...
a) angry about my loss of readers
b) jealous of those who have more readers
c) prideful and arrogant because hello! I know what I'm talking about!
4) greedy, wanting more readers and followers.

Hey look! I have 4 of the 7 deadly sins! I suppose we could add in
5) sloth...I truly have been lazy spiritually, thinking I really don't need to focus on that. I need to focus on followers, not following!

So, I win. 5 out of 7 deadly sins. Go me....

Earlier, I wrote about realizing that my blog needs to be about God. It needs to be the Holy Spirit moving within me. As soon as I stop letting it be about that... it's over. And I don't want that. Not because of my blog... if this ends up dying and no one ever reads it, fine. I need to stay on my knees, praying for the Spirit to stay within me, guiding my words and actions. That is what this is all about.

And tonight, I realized something else....

It doesn't matter if I know more or less about how to make a wonderfully effective blog site. It doesn't matter if I have a better or worse following than someone else. It doesn't matter if my site/brand/hashtag brings in the most hashtag references. These are all essentially material things. They are not of God. Focusing on this stuff is idolatry.... for me, at least. Others may be able to do it appropriately. They can keep it from being about themselves, and make it all about God. For me, it just ends up being selfish.

So, I am letting go of being angry and jealous and prideful. No more greed. I would rather have only one reader... one who is moved towards God... than have 1000 readers a day, of which none are touched or moved towards the One who truly matters.

Hatred and Lies in the Name of God??

Perhaps this is very poor taste... but I feel a strong pull on my heart, soul and mind to post this. This was a conversation between myself and someone who claims to be a pastor. Basically, it started with the "pastor" saying that Christians are considered hate-mongers because we hate sin... and I was trying to explain that it's not because Christians hate sin (we're supposed to hate sin). It's because many Christians hate the sinner. We sometimes act like those who sin are not worthy of God's Grace, Love or Mercy.

I also want to state that I really am not proud of my own behavior in this conversation. I got angry, and started to show that exact hatred and judgment that I speak against.

That said, here is the conversation. With the exception of the text of the scriptures (I linked the verses instead of pasting them), and removing the name of the "pastor" and one other person who's name was mentioned, nothing has been added or removed from this conversation....

Hatred and Lies

“Pastor”:

Christians are now hate mongers? Because we hate sin.

“Very true . If I share that fornication is a sin , I'm hatin' . If I say that Homosexuality and gay marriage is a sin , I'm hatin' . satan has really flipped the game .........” 

Me: 

No... it's hating when you say God hates gays, or that God hates adulterers. Or that gays, adulterers, etc are going to hell and/or are unworthy of God's love and grace. It's hating when you attack anyone who disagrees with your view on homosexuality. It's hating when you use the Bible to justify acting in any way other than love towards another person.

“Pastor”:  

+Brandi Eissinger God hates sins. Wow please grow. 

+Brandi Eissinger whatever bible you are reading from please find an accurate one or get a teacher. Both would be most acceptable. Because every comment is usually slanted or uninformed. 

Me: 

lol see now THAT is hating.

IF you would have actually read what I said, I was trying to say that people do not say Christians are hating when we say something is a sin. They say we're hating when we say God hates the sinner, or that the sinner is not worthy of God's grace and love. How is this uninformed? How is this slanted? How is this worthy of you attacking me and acting in a completely non-Pastor/non-man of God fashion? 

“Pastor”: (note… I removed the actual text of the verses the “Pastor” quoted only to save space in this. Instead, I have placed links on the verses to Bible Gateway.)

Let's discuss sin. Paul in Romans
Romans 1:25-32 KJV

Ezekiel 18:20-23 KJV

Acts 2:38 KJV

1 John 5:18 KJV

To sit back and want to speak half a gospel because of what ever serving agenda is isn't gospel preaching. Its killing them. Robbing them of the truth. You dont let your kids play and traffic without scolding them. You dont let your friends play with firearms. I don't know where you want the gospel of half to be preached but again. Unless you are truly willing to stand in the gap snd battle sin inside a man because you love him. Stand aside please. Because the comments presented are weightless. Because the very same gospel or point of view as you say is a saving gospel. I would much rather be accused for being a hater of sin than a critic without a foundation. I am glad you are hearing it. There is hope. Because no one comments for things they dont like. They comment because something sticks. Otherwise I don't engage. Preach the whole bible not the just the parts you like. Preachers don't get that luxury. We preach what the Holy Spirit tells us. That is in our bible as well. 

Me:

You preach lies if you preach that it is ok to hate anyone. You preach lies if you do not teach that we are to love the sinner.

I am not saying do not hate sin. I have never said that and I would never say that. I speak only the truth as God instructs me to teach. But you teach that it is ok to hate people. It is ok to condemn them. You teach that it is ok for you to attack me for simply trying to clarify a point.

HATING a person is a SIN. Attacking a person is a sin. And telling people that this is ok? Passing yourself off as a Pastor when you believe and teach these lies is a sin. You're right - I don't let my kids play in traffic or friends play with firearms... which is exactly why I would never allow any of them to attend a church with you as a leader. It would kill their soul.

“Pastor”: 

+Brandi Eissinger gladly enough God speaks who goes to church not you. If we let mab decide where we go. We would be all in hell. No manner of your chatter will change that. The line stretches around the corner for those who have ill things to say. You are more than welcome to bring your picket sign and speech. I welcome it. Nothing wikl silence me until my life is called to Heaven. Until I hear ny name called. I will preach to you and everyone. You can tune out. Comment. Spew barbs. Throw stones. Nothing will silence my voice to preach and teach the gospel. You are the very reason men and women need to speak the things that are discussed. And I bless you dearly and love you dearly. And welcome your attacks. Bring them forward

Me:

You are NOT preaching or teaching the Gospel if you are preaching and teaching hate! That is my point. I go to church... every Sunday and whenever else there is church. I go to two different Bible studies. My best friend is a Pastor who knows the true Gospel and teaches it to me all the time. The Gospel is NOT about hating people. It is about love. So quit insulting me. I am not some uneducated idiot. God speaks to me. God calls me to teach the truth. And God has called many wonderful, knowledgeable people to help me with this mission. Do not give me any lines of bull that you bless or love me because you do not understand such words and concepts.

“Pastor”:

+Brandi Eissinger god bless and godspeed to you. 

Me:

Nice dismissal. Go back to being a false prophet. But that won't stop me from telling people you teach lies. :) I'll pray for your soul.

“Pastor”:

+Brandi Eissinger you are dismissed you aren't saying anything that is truthful about me or otherwise. Just talking. I don't listen to noise anymore than I do giving it life. Your talk hasnt contained a shread of truth. So I moved you along. There are more naysayers than to concentrate on one. You have your mind made up. Awesome. Now move along. 

-----------------------------------------------

Am I wrong in seeing this as preaching hatred and lies? Did I do anything (at least, at the opening of this conversation) to be treated as if I am uninformed and in need of growth (although, to be honest, we all can use some spiritual growth). 

Am I wrong in seeing this as someone whom should not be preaching? I'd almost go so far as to say he's a false prophet. 

Is it acceptable to teach hatred of others in the name of God??? 

Please, everyone... before you follow any Pastor, Priest, Minister, Preacher, etc... always compare their teachings to Scripture. It is not in Scripture to hate others. It is not Biblical to spread hatred or to teach it in His name.

God bless

Necessary Forgiveness - Unnecessary Repentance

So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. (Luke 17:3)

Put yourself back in time to when you were in grade school.... One of your best friends is about to have a birthday party. Her mom tells her she can invite one person to spend the night. You're so excited! You're going to stay up all night watching movies and eating junk food. And then you find out...

You aren't the one who's going to have that fun. Your "friend" invited someone else instead. She invited the girl she'd been friends with since she was 2... the girl who was her best friend. Not you.

Your feelings are hurt. You'd really thought she'd invite you instead. Of course, it makes sense why she didn't... but it still hurt. She never apologizes. Of course, she didn't really do anything wrong to apologize for. And yet, her lack of acknowledgment that she hurt your feelings starts to gnaw on you more and more with each passing day. Your hurt feelings turn to feelings of anger. You want to forgive her... but she hasn't repented. You want to forgive her... but she didn't do anything wrong.... at least, in her mind.

Soon, those feelings of anger turn to feelings of hatred and resentment. The mere mention of her name makes that hurt come rushing back. There is a part of you that wants to continue being friends with her, but your heart is so tarnished with hate because of this one incident that you find yourself unable to be a true friend. You find yourself wanting to hurt her back. You find yourself unable to forgive.

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Jesus says we are to forgive those who repent to us. He goes on in Luke 17 to say that if that same brother or sister sins against you seven times in one day... and seven times comes back to you and repents... forgive him every time. There is no question about this. Forgive!

But what about those times when your brother or sister does not repent, simply because he or she didn't truly do anything wrong. Yes, your feelings were hurt by their actions, but their actions were not wrong, and were not against you. There truly is no reason for them to repent - there is nothing to repent for. What then?

I think, for the most part, most of us as Christians are capable of forgiving. If I talk about you behind your back, then come and apologize, you forgive me. If you start a fight with me, then apologize, I forgive you. It's all quite easy. Now of course, this isn't to say forgiveness is always easy...there are some actions much more difficult to forgive... but the simple things, we can usually let go of.

But, what about that friend who moves to another state, abandoning you? He didn't honestly abandon you. He had to follow his own path. And yet, like the child who didn't invite you to the sleep over, this person's actions hurt your feelings. There was nothing truly for him to apologize for, and yet his lack of apology makes it difficult for you to forgive. And because you have not forgiven, those hurt feelings escalate, slowly eating away at you and at your ability to love this friend.

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This is a type of situation which I have a difficult time with. If I were to say "I forgive you", I'm telling you that you did something wrong. But you didn't. Yet, if I don't forgive you, my feelings of betrayal and abandonment grow into anger, resentment, and eventually hate. But if I do tell you I forgive you - thus saying you committed some evil act against me - you may get angry with me for thinking this way of you. But, honestly, how can I forgive you for something you are not sorry for doing? And so the entire situation remains unresolved.

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But, setting aside the chasing of my own tail... forgiveness should not be conditional. It should not be dependent upon someone saying "I'm sorry." It's something each of us must make the conscious decision to do whenever someone does something wrong against us - whether this wrong is intentional or not; whether it's real or perceived. Forgiveness should come from the heart, and will help save the heart.

Don't wait for that friend to apologize for not inviting you to the sleepover... don't wait for her to apologize for something she did that hurt your feelings but in itself was not a wrong action.

When you don't forgive, hurt can quickly turn to hate. And hate can quickly destroy any potential beauty and love a friendship can produce. So, forgive. No matter what, no matter how often, forgive. And, while you're at it - forgive yourself for allowing that hurt to turn to hate...

"Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it." (unknown)