Tuesday, April 16, 2013
I took a couple purity tests, just for fun, earlier tonight. The one was a general purity test (i.e. included things like shoplifting) - I scored 40% pure. The other was a sexual purity test - I scored a whopping 26% pure on that one.Of course, these tests are rather stupid. But they are fun to take. :)
But, let's be serious for a moment...
I am a mother of 6 children. I have never really pushed that you should wait until marriage before having sex before. With my eldest, I went more for the "well, if you're going to anyway..." I just didn't want her to end up pregnant at a young age. And what happened? She ended up pregnant at 17. Since this happened, I have gotten closer to God. I have developed more of a relationship with Him, and have focused more of the Bible, and religion, and how I want to live my life and what I want to teach my children. So now I am trying to teach that abstinence really is the best policy. And I truly believe this. Unfortunately, trying to teach abstinence in this day and age is very difficult... especially when the other parent delights in informing the children of your own lack of abstinence as a teenager.
I remember growing up... I did believe that one should wait until marriage to have sex. I had fully intended to wait. But, at 16, I was raped. Even afterwards, I tried to hold onto the theory of waiting... but after two years, and a lot of abuse, I started to wonder why I was waiting. My virginity had already been taken from me. What's the point? By this time, I should also mention that I had all but given up on God. I still believed in him, but believed he was just a mean, power-hungry game player, and we were just his pawns.
And so I admit - I got stupid. I had sex with a man I barely knew. A month or so later, I had sex with this guy's friend. At one point, a one night stand with a stranger. I had stopped caring - about me, God, life in general.
This is what premarital sex generally is - it's a lack of caring about yourself, your life, and God. You can color it however you want... "we love each other"... "everyone else does it"... "I'm protected"... But the truth is, if it really is love, sex can wait. And everyone else doing it as an excuse? I honestly never understood that one. And being protected? The only sure protection is abstinence. But, beyond all these obvious things that parents and teachers drill into you whenever they can... choosing to not have sex is also showing a great love for yourself, and respect in yourself. It lets you focus on the things that truly matter in a relationship, and in life. Sex does not matter in these things (well... other than the obvious reproduction anyway). Sex is pleasure... plain and simple. Making love with a spouse (or even very serious relations... which means one that has lasted more than 2 weeks....) is different. In that case, the sex isn't just about pleasure... it's about sharing, and becoming one, and growing together.
As sexually mature individuals, teens have to make their own decisions as to whether or not they will stay pure. They need to make their own decision as to whether or not to have sex before marriage. As parents, handing them a condom or pack of birth control pills is not enough. We need to be honest with them on our own feelings of the topic. And as adults, we have to make our own decisions as to whether or not to continue down a path of impurity, or make a change in our lives.
Just because I scored a 26% based mostly on things I did when I was young and stupid, does not mean I have to continue with a 26% lifestyle (and, quite honestly, I haven't continued... I'd sadly score fairly high now if I took into consideration only the past few years).