75%

Ash Wednesday, as I was writing a blog post, I made the decision to write a post every day throughout the Lent season. I knew this would be a challenge for me - not because I don't like to write, or can't write daily, but rather because I am the type of writer who generally only writes when inspiration hits. I have gone a couple months without writing, only to suddenly find myself glued to my computer almost 24/7 for weeks on end.

And I can't make a list and say "Ok, I'm going to write about this on Monday... and this Tuesday..." My topics just suddenly come to me, and I write them. This has probably been the biggest challenge of mine. Inspiration either hits when I can't do anything about it (i.e. when I'm working... or at church); or, it doesn't hit at all.

Anyway, I went through my blog posts tonight - I am missing seven days of posts. Seven! That means I only actually managed to write 3/4's of the time I said I would. I only held to 75% of my promise.

Can you imagine that one in a marriage? "It's ok honey - I held to 75% of our vows..."

A promise is a promise. A commitment is a commitment. You can't just do 75% of it. Or even 90% of it. Try that the next time with your electric bill... "I'm only going to pay 75% of my bill."

Or with parenthood - "I'm only going to take care of 75% of my children."

What if God only followed through with 75% of his promises? 

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)

On second thought... God decided to only meet 75% of your needs...

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

God has changed his mind - he wants to see how well it goes if he does allow you to occasionally be tempted beyond what you can bear.

"Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned." (Mark 16:16)

Let's toss it up a bit - you have a 50/50 chance of being saved... which means it really doesn't matter if you're baptized or believe.... because those who do not believe also have a 50/50 chance.

Don't Just Give 75%!

With your promises - give your all.
With your prayers - give your all.
With your love - give your all.

God is giving you 100%... he deserves the same, as do your neighbors.

Spiritual High

A couple days into Lent, as I had already written a sermon a few nights in a row, I decided to keep it going - I would write a sermon every day during Lent. And, it has been a week (today marks the 7th day). Unfortunately, however, this is really not a sermon. But, since I'm writing it on my sermons blog, I'm going to consider it such.

So, why no sermon tonight? Well... the main reason is that while I am currently on a spiritual high, and even emotionally somewhat stable, I'm physically at a low point - I'm drained, and I believe I'm coming down with a cold. Last night I was in bed by 9:30... and sleeping by 9:33. Tonight, as soon as this post is done and my son is home from basketball, I will be going to bed early as well.

As I mentioned above, I'm on a spiritual high. The past 9 months have been a time of spiritual awakening for me... and a time of fighting this awakening. I would have an intense weekend when it came to religion/God/spirituality. I'd feel like God was talking to me, both in prayer, through other people, through signs, and simply through my heart and soul. I'd be confused by this, and curious, and elated. And scared half to death. God doesn't speak to people like me. God speaks to good people. He speaks to those who revel in his Word. He speaks to those who stand in front of congregations and preach his word. He speaks to those who have never denied him or turned from him. He speaks to those worthy of hearing him.

And this... this was not and is not me.

Fear would force me to fight these feelings of elation. Fear would cause me to lash out at those whom God was utilizing to speak to me. Fear and the general feeling of unworthiness. And I'd hit a spiritual low. And during fighting this high and living in this low, I would turn from him. I wouldn't try to be the person I knew I should be. I'd lock myself away within my walls, hidden from even my own emotions.

A couple days ago, after spending a weekend with some decent highs and pretty bad lows, I finally reached a point where I realized that in all I'd done to better myself spiritually... I'd never committed myself to God fully. Yes, I started going to church, and studying the Bible, and reading devotions. I started praying on occasion, depending on the situation and reason. I stopped hiding the fact that I'm a Christian and proud of it (much to the utter annoyance of family and friends).

But never once did I commit to God my lows as well. On a spiritual high, it's easy to go to Church, and read the Bible. It's easy to say a prayer of thanksgiving. But on a spiritual low? I hadn't handed my problems over to God. I hadn't prayed for him to please be with me during these times. I hadn't prayed for strength. While I had asked for forgiveness after sinning, I had never asked him for courage to resist temptation. Upon realizing all this, and during a low, I surrendered my troubles to the Lord. I committed to a life of serving him. And since this... I have been on a spiritual high. I have not hidden behind walls or closed doors or substances which act as walls. Those who have pushed me down, and still do - I do not let there actions keep me down. I do not let their actions and words dictate who I am.

Granted, it has only been two days... perhaps too early to be patting myself on the back. And yes, I do realize that there is a good chance this high will not last - I will slip, I will stumble, I will feel spiritual lows. But I am going to enjoy this high for as long as it lasts, and I will do what I can through devotions, prayer, scripture and service to keep this high to some degree (or, at least, a nice middle ground).

I am feeling a peace I do not remember ever feeling before, and I think I kinda like it...