Seeing What We Want to See

In the past few days, I've had a few items come across my Facebook feed that struck a chord in me.

The first was a video which spoke about how some people get bent out of shape about how we look when we show up to Church on Sunday morning.

The second was a story posted on a funeral home site of a young lady who passed away much too early from a heroin overdose. 

These two items made me realize just how much emphasis we put on what we see, rather than what is important. It made me realize how we see only what we want to see, rather than the truth.

Which is more important - that someone comes to Church, wants to worship God, wants to embrace and be embraced by the Body of Christ? Or that this person comes shows up in ripped jeans and a dirty tshirt?

Which is the important truth - that a young woman is just a worthless drugged out single mother? Or that this young woman had so much pain and confusion inside her and just needed to be embraced by someone willing to be God's hands?

This habit of not seeing the important and real truth is something many of us are guilty of. When we have a friend who isn't there for us every day like we believe they should be, we get angry and feel this person no longer cares. We refuse to even try to see the truth. Perhaps this person is just simply busy. Perhaps this person has so much stress and pressure on them that they are unable to meet our needs as well. Perhaps this person has slipped into such a deep depression that they're so exhausted trying to keep themselves afloat they just don't have the energy to keep anyone else afloat as well.

We are blind to the truth. It's not even blindness - it's a refusal to even bother to look. We get so self absorbed in our own needs, our own beliefs, or own desires, that we don't look further. We see people's actions, but not the motivations for those actions. We see their appearance, but not the conditions they face that lead to that appearance. We put what is on the outside above and beyond what is on the inside.

We measure a person's worth by what we see with our eyes. And when this "worth" doesn't measure up - we fail to be God's hands for this person.

Stop looking at someone with your human eyes, and instead look at them with godly eyes - with eyes of compassion and love and insight. Get to know people. Learn their story. Love them because of their story - not in spite of it. Reach out to one another regardless of how someone looks, or acts, or lives. Love one another regardless of these things.

Love as Christ loves.

It Must Be Nice (to Pretend to be Christian)

 It must be nice to never be confused as to who you are, or why you are the way you are. It must be nice to not have been born with any health issues - mental or physical. It must be nice to have your perfect little bubble. It must be nice to be so perfect, you're allowed to harass and demonize and dehumanize another person who doesn't have the luxury of being perfect. It must be nice to have God's permission to judge and condemn another.

For the past few days my G+ and Facebook feeds have been a constant barrage of articles and memes and comments about Caitlyn Jenner. And yes, I am going to call her Caitlyn. And yes, I am going to call her a woman. Maybe she's got a few physical issues which make her appear as a male (if you're checking her out naked... which well, then you're the one with the problem, not her), but she identifies as female, and who I am to disrespect someone (especially someone whom I don't even know)?

And yet, this doesn't seem to stop the multitudes of pseudo-Christians. Maybe you don't agree with what she's done. Maybe you believe it's a sin. Maybe you believe she's going to hell. Well guess what? No one cares what you think. It is not our right to condemn her. It is not our right to tear down her happiness.

Here are my thoughts on just a couple things I've seen on social media lately...

"God still knows him as Bruce. Him changing his name doesn't mean God will know him as such." 

 How do you know this? God used to change people's names in the Bible all the time. Unless God has gifted you with His ability to understand what His plan is (and trust me, He has not given you that gift), you cannot and do not know. It is entirely possible that it was God who allowed this person to finally grow and become the person He wanted her to be.

"God created man and woman in His image, and said it was good. He wouldn't make a mistake to have a woman in a man's body."

a) God made man and woman in his image. Therefore, God is both masculine and feminine...
b) God wouldn't make a mistake to have a child born without a heart. Or to have a child born without legs. Or to have a child born with an extra chromosome. Oh.... wait..... yeah he would...

"It says in the Bible that a man cannot wear women's clothing, or a woman wear men's clothing." 

a) I live in men's flannel shirts. Guess I'm on a straight road to hell
b) The verse which says this is Deuteronomy 22:5. If you read a some of the verses which follow that (in the same chapter):

⁸ When you build a new house, you shall make a parapet for your roof; otherwise you might have bloodguilt on your house, if anyone should fall from it.
⁹ You shall not sow your vineyard with a second kind of seed, or the whole yield will have to be forfeited, both the crop that you have sown and the yield of the vineyard itself.
¹⁰ You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.
¹¹ You shall not wear clothes made of wool and linen woven together.
¹² You shall make tassels on the four corners of the cloak with which you cover yourself.

I'm betting you're all going to hell to because you don't fulfill at least 3 of those 5 verses. 

I'm utterly disgusted at the lack of Christ-like love

I could continue with all the ridiculous things I've seen the past couple days, but to be honest, I am just so disgusted with "Christian" behavior over this that I just can't go on. All I will say is this... 

We are commanded to love everyone. What I have seen from almost everyone who has posted on this topic is not love. It isn't even remotely close to love. It's horrible, pain-causing, tear-down behavior which is so completely unChristlike behavior it makes me want to cry. We're supposed to love. We're supposed to build people up. That is what it means to follow Christ. 

God bless

Trashy Cover, Loving Story

I was a pregnant waitress, almost nine months along, working the overnight shift.
She was a stripper, working at the strip club/bar just a dozen or so blocks away.

I'd served her food and coffee every night after she got off work for a couple weeks. The drunks in the restaurant would try to take her home. The older people coming in for early morning coffee would sit on the other side of the restaurant. And I would simply talk to her about her life, and my life, in between waiting on others.

The night before she was heading out of town to go work at another strip club, she came in as usual, and left me a good size tip on the table. She paid her bill and left; then came back in a few minutes later and handed me more money. "This tip is for your baby - get him something nice. Thank you for the short friendship."

I could have written her off because of her current career choice. She could have written me off for being pregnant with my sixth child. But the truth ran much deeper than what could be seen on the outside.

"Don't judge a book by its cover."

We've all heard that old adage. And we've all heard the arguments about whether or not we, as Christians, should be judging others. In fact, I know many people who believe we should judge (as long as we aren't telling the person they're going to hell) others based on their sins. These are the kind of people who probably wouldn't have waited on this person. Or, if they did, they would have preached to her about how sinful she was and how she had to turn her life around now or face hell. Or, in some other way try to make her feel like crap for the choices she'd made.

But how many would have looked beyond her job? How many would have been given the opportunity to hear this woman's story? This was a woman who'd managed to overcome many obstacles in her life - abuse, rape, etc. She was a believer in Christ, and very loving and forgiving to those who'd hurt her in the past. She was trying to raise a young child on her own - the product of a rape, though she never acted like this child was anything less than a gift.

And here she was, barely able to make ends meet, giving me well over what she could afford to make sure my baby was taken care of.

Yes, she was a stripper. She was also a wonderful, beautiful child of God.

Don't judge until you've read the whole story

Personally, I don't think we should be judging at all... but to avoid the whole argument of we should judge the sin, not the sinner; or that the Bible tells us we're allowed to judge as long as we're judging righteously; or any of the other arguments that tend to follow any statement I make regarding "do not judge"... I will simply say, do not judge until you've read the whole story.

What does this mean?

Get to know the person. That homosexual you want to inform is going to hell? Sit down and listen to him. Don't preach. Don't tell him what your beliefs are. Sit and get to know him and his story. That woman who is walking into an abortion clinic? Talk to her. Have an actual conversion. Listen to her. Find out her story.

We all have a story. Within each of our stories, we are going to find a lot of sin, a lot of doubt, a lot of hardship. We're going to find a lot of accomplishments, a lot of obstacles we've overcome, a lot of joys. And by truly listening to another person's story, we're going to find that there is so much more to that person than what you see. There is more to someone than their sexuality. There is more to someone than that they're considering abortion (or already had one). There is more to someone than the sins for which you want to persecute them... 

Just as there is more to YOU than what someone else is seeing right now.

God bless!

The Search for What is Missing in Christianity Today (aka Where the heck is the authenticity?!)

I remember going to church one Sunday, hearing the whispers from some of the members. I was a sinner. I went to the bar, and then had the audacity to show up to service. I didn't go to church for 3 months, and now all of a sudden I have the balls to show my face. I had too many children, and obviously couldn't support them, so who am I to appear in a church? I give little if anything in the offering plate - I have nothing to offer this church and shouldn't be here.

And I remember thinking... that one there was at the bar last night as well. And the night before. And the night be fore that. That one over there sleeps through church. That one spends most of the service gossiping about everyone else. Seriously? You're all going to judge me?

The Church lacked authenticity.

The fact is, we're all sinners. Church isn't for the perfect... it's for the broken. It's for the sinners. If we were perfect... well, chances are we'd already be dead and sitting in Heaven with our Lord. On earth, there are no perfect people. Unless of course Jesus has come back as a human once again to walk with us. It is entirely possible I didn't get that memo...

------------

Once I figured out the need to push past the gossipers and self-assigned judges, I started going back to church. And this led to me blogging and sharing my experiences. And in this little online universe (as well as amongst some of the real world people I met), I found a whole new group of people...

People whom insisted that life was perfect after they were saved. They found Christ! They accepted Christ into their hearts! And now, they have no issues. Life is grand. Their physical and mental ailments were stripped from them. They now had the perfect job and perfect family and of course, they never sin now. And obviously, if your life isn't like this - if you're still sick or in pain, if your life is still in turmoil, and especially if you're still sinning - you have not truly accepted Christ yet.

Again, this lacks authenticity.

We're told in the Bible that even with Christ in our hearts, we're still sinners and we will still encounter turmoil. Our lives will not be perfect here on earth. There will still be abuse and pain and sadness. There will still be sickness and death. And we will still sin.

------------

The more we keep pushing these lies, the less people are going to be in our pews each Sunday. The more we keep judging others, assuming they don't belong in Church because their lives aren't perfect, the hollower our Churches and hearts will be.

If you want people in your Church - Be Authentic!
If you want people in your life - Be Authentic!
If you want people to embrace Christ - Be Authentic!
If you want to be a true follower of Christ - Be Authentic!

Don't hide your own sinfulness behind a mask of perfection. Don't assign yourself judge and jury over those whom you feel aren't living up to your idea of Christianity.

Be Authentic! Put that missing piece back into Christianity in your life, your home, your Church, your community.

God bless!

What Does it Mean to Judge Righteous Judgement?

Those who know me, know I am a firm believer that we do not have the right to judge one another. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not saying I don't judge others. I am, after all, a sinner just like everyone else (yes, even you are a sinner... sorry to burst your bubble).

Those who seem to think they are sinless and/or have the God given right to pass judgement on others throw out a couple Bible verses. John 7:24 is the most common one: "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment." I'll get to that verse in a moment. But first, allow me to say once again...

We do not have the right to judge others. Ever. 

Matthew 7:1-5  “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Luke 6:37  “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;
James 4:12  There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Romans 2:1-3  Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?
John 8:7  And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Galatians 5:14  For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

I could probably come up with a few dozen more examples of where we're told not to judge. Christ is the only one who has that right. God, through His Son, is the only one whom is allowed to judge the hearts and works of mankind. We cannot. Ever. Why not? Because we are sinners. To judge another is to be a hypocrite. How can I point a finger at you and call you a sinner when I myself am one also? How can I throw the first stone, when I myself am not without sin? I am nothing but a lowly sinner, the same as you, who will stand before God and be judged for my sins. I do not stand before you for this judgement, nor do you stand before me.

Instead of judging, we're to show love, kindness, patience, and forgiveness. Again, I could find dozens of scriptures to support this fact. In fact, that's pretty much what the entire New Testament is about. Love one another. It is the greatest commandment given us. Galatians says the whole law is fulfilled with that one word. And no where in scripture does it say that passing judgement on others is love - an argument I have had many say to me. That argument is a complete lie. 

So then why are we told to "judge righteous judgement"?

If you read the whole Bible - not just one verse - you'll see that we are never told to judge people in general. There are only two things that I have found that we are told we can judge...

We are to judge fruits/false prophesy

Matthew 7:15-19 - “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

This is a passage I have found to be abused a bit by people who argue for judging others. Obviously, to judge a person as a false prophet, that is a very grave judgement on another person (something I have just spend the past several paragraphs saying we should not do). However, in this case, we are told to do exactly that. We are told to recognize false prophets. But, we're also told how to do this. If you write a blog post stating Christ is not truly the Son of God, you are not necessarily a false prophet. I would have to examine all your fruits. A false prophet will not bear any good fruit. So, you may have one false post amongst a hundred posts which teach the truth of God. Maybe you had a bad day. Maybe we misread your work. Maybe someone hacked your account. We cannot judge you as a false prophet for one post, or one action, or one statement.

Can you imagine if God did that? If we were judged based solely on what we did or said in one specific moment? What we did on December 25th, 2013, between the hours of noon and 3 pm - that's what will determine if we go to heaven or hell...

We are to judge ourselves. 

 2 Corinthians 13:5 - Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

"Examine yourselves." It doesn't say "examine others." It says "examine yourselves." I am responsible for making sure I am following Christ. I am responsible for making sure I am loving my neighbors, and my enemies. I am responsible for making sure I am following God's commandments (and, if I am not, for repenting). I am not to judge you for whether or not you are doing these things.

1 Corinthians 11:31 - But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment.

Judge the Sin - not the Sinner...?

Ah, my least favorite mantra, chanted by people whenever the judgement argument comes up. Let me ask you all this - how do you judge a sin and not a sinner?

I'm serious about this... every one of you who claims we have the right to judge the sin, but not the sinner (and usually you're saying this while you are judging the sinner).... what does it mean to judge the sin but not the sinner? How is this done? Please help me understand how you can do one without the other...

Let the Kid Get Burned!?!?

You hear it all the time. Someone in every Christian debate utters the phrase "you have no right to judge others!" And, it gladly comes with the scripture supporting this: Matthew 7:1 - “Do not judge, or you too will be judged."

And there is also someone in every debate who responds by saying "would you not warn a child not to touch a hot stove?" Verses are quoted: 2 Timothy 3:16 - "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness," or Matthew 18:15 - "“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault..."

And, I will readily admit, I am almost always the one saying do not judge. Why? Because a) we are told not to do so; and b) judging people takes time away from us loving them - and loving them IS a COMMANDMENT from JESUS.

Now then, please note... I am saying do not JUDGE. I am not saying I wouldn't tell a child the stove is hot. But there is a very big difference between telling a child he/she will get burned, and telling someone God is going to send them to hell. The first - it is my responsibility as a parent to do; the second - ONLY GOD CAN TELL PEOPLE WHO IS GOING TO HELL!!!

The only similarity between the two instances - the person you're "warning" is most likely not going to listen to you anyway. I've told all my children the stove is hot... and every one of them had to find out for themselves. Sure, I could have banned them from the kitchen (they were gated out of it until they were at least a few years old) until they were 18... but that wouldn't have changed the result any. I had to allow them to get burned. I had to allow them to find the truth on their own.

Also please note, when you say "I'm just warning them... it is my responsibility to correct others when it comes to God"... but then make comments regarding them going to hell if they don't change, or actually, making any reference to what God will do to this person... that is passing judgement and your "I'm just warning them" stance is non-existent. "Warning them of their doom" IS the same thing as telling them they'll go to hell.

All this said... allow me to quote the full context of some of these verses used on both sides of the coin....

Matthew 7 (NIV)

7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Personal Summary (i.e. what this means to me): You cannot criticize someone else for their actions when you are just as guilty of sin. Perhaps not the same sin... but you sin all the same. Don't call someone out for being a homosexual when you just got out of bed with your best friend's wife. Don't call someone out for having a child out of wedlock when you just gossiped about that person behind their back. Sin is sin. As a pastor once told me (when I was attempting to justify an action I did as being "less sinful" than what happened to me) - there is no more or less sinful. There is just sin.

2 Timothy :16-17 (NLT)

¹⁶ All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. ¹⁷ God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

Personal Summary: Scripture is to be used as a personal tool for correction. For example, if I am uncertain if judging others is wrong... or, if I think it is ok... I read the Bible. And, I learn from there that it is indeed something I should not be doing. This does not mean I cram the Bible down someone else' throat. If I know someone considering abortion, I can show her Bible passages where God speaks against this. But this is all I should do. From that point, it is up to the person to absorb what the Bible says.. and make the decision for herself, accepting any consequences.

Matthew 18 (NIV)

Dealing With Sin in the Church

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Personal Summary: This is a big one for me. This is saying to approach things in private. Yesterday, I was having a discussion with a fellow church member. One member of our church is a woman who had children with her at-the-time husband, ended up divorced,  and dated on and off for a while. Her children were teenagers when she met another man, and (while unmarried, but living with him) had a child and is now pregnant with another child. Well, this fellow church member I was talking to was disgusted with this other woman's actions. She believed the pastor, or someone, should call her out in the middle of service for her actions... or not even allow her in the church.

Yes, this divorced, unwed, pregnant mother has sinned according to the Bible. Yes, she may be setting a poor example for her children. But truly - how will calling her out in public serve anyone? My response to the lady suggesting this - either she (if it truly affects her this much) or a pastor should speak with the woman privately. "But she won't listen!".... Well, she won't listen if you scream at her in service either. Matters like this should be discussed privately... and respectfully... and with love. And once what is said/corrected is done, you leave it be. God will handle it.


Also, I do believe Romans, chapter 14 is relevant to this argument:

Romans 14 (NIV)

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. ² One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. ³ The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. ⁴ Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
⁵ One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. ⁶ Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. ⁷ For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. ⁸ If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. ⁹ For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.
¹⁰ You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. ¹¹ It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
    every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

¹² So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

¹³ Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. ¹⁴ I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. ¹⁵ If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. ¹⁶ Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. ¹⁷ For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, ¹⁸ because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.
¹⁹ Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. ²⁰ Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. ²¹ It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
²² So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. ²³ But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

Ahh! There is so much in this Chapter worth discussing, but I will save that for another post. For now... a very brief personal summary: those things which are disputable- do not argue and quarrel over them.  God created us all. We are all sinners. Christ died and rose again for our sins. These are not debatable. Whether or not God actually created everything in what we currently know as 7 days? That is disputable, especially if you believe in science as well as God, but completely irrelevant and unimportant.


And above all... you should NEVER allow "warning others" or "correcting others" to cross over to the realm of judging. People always say "Love the sinner, hate the sin" but few actually practice this. They think they do... but its such a thin line, many don't realize they've crossed it. Say my unwed teenage daughter gets pregnant (note... this actually happened to me a couple years ago)...

I could have ignored what she did and simply stood beside her and loved her and dismissed the sin all together.
I could have disowned her,  or treated her with anger and disappointment for her sin.
I could have let her know that I was disappointed, ask that she pray, and prayed with her/for her; and then stood beside her and loved her and dismissed the forgiven sin.

I chose the third option.

To me, this is what it means to not judge.

Evil In the Name of God

Let's recap today...

• I was called anti-Christian because of "anti Christian rhetoric" I have on my Google+ wall. No specifics were given, so I'm still trying to determine what I have posted that could be considered anti-Christian. 
• I was accused of supporting the murder of children. 
• I was called a liar simply because I stated that some people in very abusive situations do, at times, wish they'd never been born and/or wish they were dead. 

These came from a Mr.... [edited to remove the name as I realize it is mean to do call someone out in this way...] - a supposed Christian.

Now yes, I do realize it is a bit rude to call someone out in public in this way. But, these accusations were brought to me in a public forum, and therefore, I think I am justified in doing the same (there re days I quite wrongly adopt the eye for an eye mentality).

Allow me to give a short bit of context... we were having a discussion regarding adoption being a better option than abortion. This is something I quite fully support. In fact, the only comment I made in support of abortion (which really isn't even in support of it) is that I stated that while I am against abortion, I would not judge anyone who chooses that path.

Apparently, this makes me a justifiable target for Christian hate. 

I bring all this up because I think this is a very serious topic - Christians acting in a very anti-Christian fashion. Supposed Christians acting evil in the name of God.

Every day I am reading over what people have to say in the Christian communities I am a member of on Google+. And every day I see someone judging and condemning others for their beliefs. This is 99% of the time a Christian judging and condemning another Christian.

Some stand behind verses that say we are to correct people when they are wrong. ( I find it necessary to point out that the verse in question on correcting others - “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." (Matthew 18:15) - says you should correct someone on a sin that was done against you, and you should do this in private. )

 But, who are we to judge who is wrong? How can we honestly correct a brother or sister when we are not 100% certain of the correct way?


The correct way is God's way. But, what does this mean? What is God's way? Is God's way that we should not murder? Yes... according to the 10 commandments. Is a fetus alive to the point where it would be murder? I would say yes, but would this be with 100% certainty? No. I am not a doctor, nor am I God. Is God's way that we are not true Christians if we aren't Catholic? (Yes... this is another one I have recently been accused of...) I personally don't believe you have to be Catholic to be Christian. Am I 100% certain of this? Well... no... I'm 99.9999999% certain, but again, I am not God.

What I DO know is this...

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

And attacking fellow Christians for their beliefs, just because they differ from yours, is not loving one another.

I also know we have been told several times in several places within the Bible to not judge others.

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

John 8:7
And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Matthew 7:1-5
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Luke 6:37
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

James 4:11-12
Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Romans 2:1-3
Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

I am quite positive that Christianity would be much stronger, and could accomplish so much more, if we would stop bickering amongst each other... if we could stop judging each other... if we could stop calling each other names.... if we could stop being evil in the name of God.

Romans 14:1-13
14 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master[a] that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.

10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written,

“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
    and every tongue shall confess[b] to God.”

12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

Random Thoughts

This past weekend and last couple days have been a little crazy for me. It's had its crazy ups and even crazier downs. Things have gone from "hey! I'm having a great day!" to "hey! I wanna jump off the nearest bridge!" to "hey! I think I've come up with the secrets to the inside of my mind!"

Yes, it has been insane. And, I was finding that reading blog posts was causing more chaos. So, I stepped away for a few days. And now today, I've come back and tried reading some, and have found myself rather irritated with many of these posts - irritated for really no good reason. But, because there are so many random thoughts zipping around, I'm finding it hard to write a structurally sound blog post of my own.

Therefore... Random Thoughts....

1 - just because you don't drink, smoke, swear, or have sex does NOT make you better than anyone else. Any of these on their own are not evil. You aren't going to hell because you had a glass of beer.

2 - just because you believe in God, does not mean life is perfect. Just because your life is in shambles, doesn't mean you don't believe enough.

3 - applauding a child for judging people for the way they dress is, in my opinion, much worse then how the people dress. God says we are not to judge.

4 - women are NOT possessions. We are not to remain silent. And we are NOT beneath men. This kind of thinking sets women up to be raped and abused.

5 - Catholic priest sexually abuses child... these stories really anger me on more than just the sexual abuse level. I try to not judge people based on actions of a few... Catholic priests make it incredibly difficult to follow this policy of mine.

6 - television, music, video games - these alone do not scar children or turn them into murderers/rapists. Unsupervised children exposed to these without getting any kind of teaching... that leads to scarred children and turns them into murderers/rapists. 

7 - I am apparently incredibly opinionated. Someone who's known me for 20 years blames my recent involvement in church for this trait. I say she has apparently been blind the last 20 years.

8 - I love debating. And this is usually a really bad thing. Especially when it's a topic I feel strongly (am highly opinionated) about.

9 - personality disorders are definitely not fun to deal with. They really mess with pretty much every aspect of your life.

10 - consistently telling someone they are wrong in regards to how the see the Bible, God, and their relationship with the Lord is only going to steer them AWAY from God. Everyone sees things a little different. Everyone has their own opinions. Everyone worships in their own way. Everyone holds different things as important in their relationship. Who are any of us to tell them they are wrong in how they hold onto our Lord?

And, I do believe a few of these points MAY end up as full posts, if I can ever calm the chaos in my mind long enough to focus.

God bless

Don't Believe Everything You Think

Do you want to know why many people no longer go to church, or hang out with Christians (unless of course these Christians are the same as they are, and also don't go to church or hang out with Christians)?

It's because most Christians are incredibly judgmental, egotistical, narrow-minded, and just plain think they know better than everyone else.

And yes, that is a very judgmental statement to make. But I make it because I am incredibly angry and frustrated with people like this.

Before I continue, I do want to apologize to anyone I offend with this post (most likely because I've pointed a finger at you and stuck you in the group I defined above). This said...

Earlier tonight I shared an older post I wrote about how the poem "Invictus" became important to me and a bunch of other abused kids when we were teenagers. The post explained that while the words may seem to go against the teachings of Christ, we made these words our own (and made them so they did not deny God), and held to them like a life preserver. And I was very shocked and disheartened at many of the comments I received.

Some felt the need to correct me - that not only could "Invictus" not be used as a source of strength because it is anti-religion, but also that my way of defining this poem was not in the way of God.

Others felt the need to "baby" me, and assume that I'm some lost little child who is just figuring out how to walk.

Some felt that "Invictus" and its importance was simply a fairy tale to me. A fairy tale that I'll shed when I grow up.

I experienced many of these responses the other day when I posted a prayer. In this prayer, I basically let God know I wasn't too happy with Him. I questioned Him. I was hurt and angry. And I received numerous comments essentially letting me know that a) I'm wrong to question God, b) my faith obviously isn't strong enough, c) I'm nott praying hard enough, d)... well, you get the point.

But I must admit... I did receive one comment from someone who "gets it." This woman stated how its ok to be angry and admit to that angry... God already knows it's there anyway. Why hide it? And she didn't try to correct me or tell me how to feel or what to do. She commented simply to feel with me. This meant so incredibly much to me.

This is what we, as Christians, should be doing. We shouldn't be telling people how to feel or what to believe. We should be holding them in our hearts and prayers and feeling with them. And we should not be judging them. We should not be making assumptions about them.

Don't Believe Everything You Think....

Just because I don't go to church, Bible study, women's group, etc every week... doesn't mean I am not a Christian.

Just because I don't have a degree in any religious studies... doesn't mean I'm ignorant regarding theology, the Bible, doctrine, etc.

Just because I do not interpret the Bible the way you do... doesn't mean I don't believe the Bible is the Word of God

Just because I'm willing to admit my anger at God from time to time... doesn't mean I love Him less than you do.

Just because I'm willing to be honest and admit that my beliefs have wavered from time to time... doesn't mean that I'm born again, or just starting my journey towards Christ

Just because I went through hardships in life - hardships which made me question the existence of a God - doesn't mean Satan had been in control of me (at least, no more so than he controls everyone)



I am not a baby. My journey towards Christ is not in its infancy. I have believed in God for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a very strict Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. I have been baptized and confirmed. Just because I have admitted that my faith has wavered at times... this does not mean I'm just not born again into Christ. It simply means I have more courage to be honest than the rest of you do... because everyone has had their faith waver before.

I have studied the Bible. I have studied the books that did not make it into the Bible. No, I don't know everything. There are areas I struggle with. There are some things I find pointless to even have in the Bible. Just because I'm willing to question these things... or that I disagree with the relevance of the entire Bible (with the exception of it being relevant in terms of learning how other cultures and people made their journey to a closer relationship with God).... doesn't mean I think the Bible is worthless.

Anyway...

The point to this entire post...STOP ASSUMING you know people. Stop judging them on the limited knowledge (and, often unimportant knowledge) you possess. Stop thinking you're a better Christian than me. You're not a better Christian - You're just better at hiding your questions and doubts and slipping faith.

Black Lace Panties to Church?!?

Well... at least they aren't white since it's before Easter....

A little over a week ago, for World Day of Prayer, I wore a brightly colored turquoise dress with open toe pink sandals. I thought nothing of it. I was told to wear something bright... and quite frankly, black dress heels just did not match the cheery dress. A comment was made about it being too early to wear such a thing. I simply assumed the person meant because there was 3 feet of snow on the ground.

A couple days later, at church, this same person made a comment to my daughter about her open-toe dress shoes (not even sandals... they were dress shoes with a little tiny hole at the toes) and how it's too early for those. Again, I assumed she meant because of the weather. The next day, this woman told me how she's impressed that my children do what they want - that they don't follow social norms.

That confused the heck out of me. What do you mean don't follow social norms?!

Granted, she is right - my kids are taught from early on to be themselves. I do reign them in a little to prevent them from being complete social outcasts and/or ending up in prison... but I encourage them to do their own thing. But I really had no clue what this woman was talking about. And then I remembered my step-mother telling me you can't wear white shoes before Easter (and after Labor Day). So, I looked that up - and sure enough, you also aren't supposed to wear open toed shoes or white pants/skirts during this time-frame either.

Well, I am quite certain God doesn't care what I wear to church - or what my children wear to church. I am quite certain if Jesus had a pair of white sandals, he'd be wearing them before Easter - at least, until he needed to give them to someone in need.

Who are we to judge what others wear?

And, I am just as guilty. The other day I was talking to someone about how this group of teenagers had all gone to church in jeans... which isn't really a bad thing... but that one of them had even gone so far as wearing sweatpants. I was brought up being taught that you dress as nicely as you are able to afford for church as a sign of respect to God. If all your family can afford is jeans... then wear jeans. If sweats are all you have, so be it. But when you have money and your parents are buying you all name brand things - you can afford to show a little respect to the Lord - the one who has given your parents the gift of being able to afford nice things.

Now, I do still hold to this belief. While true, it is not my place to judge others (and I will have to do better on reigning in my tendency to do this), I do believe you should dress as nicely as you are able as a sign of respect. Again, this may indeed mean sweat pants, or stained and ripped jeans. But if you have the money to afford $200 pairs of jeans, you should try to show a little respect and gratitude towards God that you can afford those.

That said, I don't think we need to hold to "social norms" when it comes to what to wear. There was a time when women weren't supposed to be seen in jeans/slacks. Well, the time has come when it shouldn't matter if women are seen in white shoes in February.

God really doesn't care what we wear to worship - he only cares that we show up... and if that's in open toed shoes, white slacks, and black lace panties, then so be it.